Demigods As... (Vol. I)

Demigods As Conversations I Have Had

A/N: This is not my greatest chapter, but I think it's entertaining, and I can't think of anything else today, so enjoy this trash.

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Child of Dionysus: "I got dared to kiss a goddess yesterday, so I kissed Beyonce."

Child of Demeter: "What."

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(Watching a child of Poseidon and a child of Aphrodite do the macarena)

Child of Hades: "Are these people really my friends?"

Child of Artemis: *walking away* "They sure aren't mine anymore."

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Child of Zeus: "What if I ingested all nine of these energy shots at once?"

Child of Hephaestus: *taking the bag away* "How about we take a nap first."

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Child of Apollo: "Hey guys, I'm going to get high!"

Child of Demeter: *concerned noises*

Child of Apollo: "....on these Pixie Stix!"

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Child of Poseidon: "So I thought, just for kicks and giggles-"

Child of Athena: *from the kitchen* "I hate kicks and giggles!"

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Child of Hermes: "Hey, look at these sunglasses with American flag lenses I have!"

Child of Hades: "Can I try them on?"

Child of Hermes: "Sure!"

Child of Hades: *puts on sunglasses, leans back in chair, and throws up peace signs* " 'Merica."

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Child of Dionysus: "I'm always a slut for Doritos."

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Child of Apollo: "Wait, so a mellophone is a French horn, but less annoying? Cause that's what I got from Google."

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Child of Zeus: "Get off your dang phone, screenager."

Child of Aphrodite: "But I was just-"

Child of Zeus: "Screenager!"

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Child of Hephaestus: "Wait, do I take the teabag out of my tea?"

Child of Ares: "No, you eat it."

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Child of Dionysus: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Child of Aphrodite: "Yeah?"

Child of Dionysus: "Screw you."

Child of Aphrodite: "What do you-"

Child of Dionysus: "Imagine someone liking you. Imagine."

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Child of Poseidon: "I was kinda scared when I learned oil was so explosive because my car goes vroom vroom and I'm pretty sure there's oil in there."

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Child of Hermes: "Meese is the plural of moose."

Child of Aphrodite: "Wait, really?!"

Child of Hermes: "How gullible are you? Just for future reference."

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Child of Apollo: "Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis -- "

Child of Hades: "Did you say cinco twice?"

Child of Apollo: "I like cinco."

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Child of Poseidon: "How many cards are we supposed to have?"

Child of Demeter: "Seven."

Child of Poseidon: "Oh, I only have nine."

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Child of Dionysus: "Can I do anything for you?"

Child of Ares: "Yeah, you can put in your resignation so I don't have to work with you anymore."

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Child of Artemis: "I am a very nice person all day at work. That's why I'm so tired when I come home."

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Child of Athena: "I don't swear."

Child of Apollo: "Me either."

Child of Zeus, having just let forth a long string after banging their hand: "Me either, guys."

Child of Apollo: "It's okay. We'll pray for you."