Demigods As My Greatest Life Achievements

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Child of Zeus: Beating my grandfather in chess exactly once

Child of Hades: Having a best friend with whom I can discuss optimal torture methods at midnight

Child of Poseidon: Having perfect pitch

Demeter: Existing at the same time as Mallory Bechtel

Child of Ares: Being able to throw knives, shoot a gun, and use a chainsaw

Child of Athena: Being a Ravenclaw

Child of Apollo: Being able to draw a perfect treble clef

Child of Artemis: Having read nearly every one of Agatha Christie's murder mysteries

Child of Hephaestus: Memorizing the name of every U.S. president in chronological order

Child of Aphrodite: Having only ever had a crush on one person in my existence

Child of Hermes: Shortsheeting all my family member's beds in one day

Child of Dionysus: Becoming an entity of chaos at theatre

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