Mommy! -jjk

(five)

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"Thank you, Jungkook." You son spoke from the backseat as Jungkook drove towards home after the nice meal.

"Of course, kid. Anytime." Jungkook shrugged off the thanks but still smiled to himself, eyes focused on the road.

"But really, thank you." You meant it too. He was too kind.

"Yah, stop being all cheesy. Anytime, really." He laughed lightly.

"You don't have work, right?" You asked him.

"Not sure, they might call me. They say one thing and then it changes."

"Oh, well if not then how about that movie?" You had turned down the movie option before but maybe now would be a good time, with Jeongsan of course.

"Sounds good." He smiled lightly as he drove you home. Taking Jeongsan from the car seat and carrying him inside. Setting him down only for him to start rummaging through the movies.

"What are we watching babe?" You asked your son as he held two movies, one in each hand.

"Maybe this one?" He held up his left hand with the movie, "Frozen" in it. Oh how you had a small hatred for the movie due to how many times he played it, you simply smiled as an answer.

"Frozen?" Jungkook's face lightly cringed at the movie but tried to smile as Jeongsan's eyes twinkled at the movie.

"Yeah, frozen's fine." He sat back and got comfortable, preparing himself for the iconic movie.

Jeongsan quickly entered the disc into the player and pressed "play" before running over and sitting between you and Jungkook. You and Jungkook catching eyes and then looking back at how happy Jeongsan was. Jeongsan knew the words to every song. Though he loved the intro with the strong men breaking the ice.

"I'm going to be that strong, mommy." He flexed his muscles before looking back at the screen and giggling to himself.

"Yes you are, baby." You smiled, adoring him.

The movie went on but soon after the song "Let it Go" played Jeongsan was out. We didn't have a nap today so that explains it. He slept with his head on you thigh and his feet on Jungkook's thighs as if it was the most comfortable position.

"Help me carry him?" You asked Jungkook facing your son.

"I got it." He swiftly picked up the child, ever so easily as if he weighed nothing. You guided him to the bedroom so he could place him in the bed. You tucked him in before thanking him and heading back into the living room and chatting a bit.

"Ever get lonely?" Jungkook asked before his eyes widened as if surprised he had even asked. Though the question didn't bother you much.

"Sometimes, but I have Jeongsan. He keeps me company." You answered truthfully, letting yourself sigh quietly. His eyes darted around the room, avoiding your form, before opening his mouth then shutting it again. He was thinking, but doubting whatever it was he wanted to ask.

"Can I ask something?" He asked with a concerned look as if it was serious.

"Ask away." You replied with a smile though still nervous toward whatever he could be thinking.

"Ah, actually forget it. Not my business." His eyes kept finding the baby pictures of Jeongsan on the wall. Pondering. Wondering.

"No, now I'm curious. Ask."

"Jeongsan's um, dad, is he?" He let his words be spaced out and quiet. You knew the question would come but not so soon. Though it wasn't his business, anybody would wonder.

"He left. When he found out about our son." Your eyes started to water up. You weren't over it quite yet. Though it was 4 years back it still hit you. Jeongsan is almost three now and still didn't have that figure. A real father.

"Y/n, I'm so-" You cut him off. So used to the word, sorry. Pity.

"It's fine, really. Just something to live with I guess." You tried not to sniffle and got up from where you sat.

"Hey, but seriously. I'm here. You can talk to me." The same thing. Over and over.

"I've heard that before." You mumbled before smiling at him.

"It's alright. I'm fine now, goodnight Jungkook." You quickly exited the room and into your bedroom. Taking a breath before locking the door and entering the bathroom. Breathe. You're fine. Always fine.

(((next scene could be triggering‼️)))

Just fine.

You looked in the mirror and tried to calm your breathing but was met with sobs. He left because you weren't enough to stay. You caused this. If only you were skinnier, prettier, just maybe he would have stayed. But then you ruined it even more and got pregnant, and got bigger. He noticed, he knew. Knew that you were expecting, didn't have to tell him. But when you did, he was gone. Just like that. Gone.

Tears now running down your cheeks. He didn't see the beauty in your son like you did. He didn't see beauty in you and now you can't either. You see why he left. Why your not good enough. Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Can't even afford college. You're Nothing.

You stared at the cabinet. You know what's in there. But you can't. But you can. You can't let Jeongsan see that. Not again. Last time you just got scratched by a cat, right? What would it be now? You can't lie to him. But you could try. The thought of breaking skin itched at you, your nails now digging in your palms. You want it.

No. You don't. You're fine. Fine. You made yourself believe this as you sobbed. Sniffling and light gasps filled the bathroom.

"Mommy?" Shit.

Your breath hitched.

"Y-Yeah?" Your voice broke.

"Are you otay, mommy?" You thought of a quick lie.

"Yeah baby. Just hit my toe." Your facepalmed yourself. Really? That's what you thought of?

"Oh, that hurts mommy. I hope it feels better." You smiled at his cuteness and blew your nose.

"Thanks hun." You put yourself together. Wiping your tears and applying concealer under your red eyes. Fine. You're fine.

Walking out of the bathroom and seeing your son in the bed watching t.v.

"Is it better now?" He asked with concern.

"All better." You smiled and sat next to him.

"Wanna have a movie night?" You asked watching his eyes light up.

"Snacks?" He smiled wide at you.

"Of course."

unedited
I love you guys♡

So I've been really busy...I have 12 missing assignments in school and I just haven't been so great. Dealing with some stuff. I'm sorry🥺🥺🥺