What has my life come to? Which god did I piss off for this to happen? Was it Loki? Did I piss off Loki???
Wait Mr. Winter Soldier White Wolf sir is Jesus so I probably pissed him off somehow. I mean, what else could explain this happening??? Parker luck???
It was definitely Parker luck. Pew news says Parker luck is god now.
This is the worst timeline. I would say god abandoned it but Parker luck would never leave me alone.
Also there's cookies.
"Took you slowpokes long enough!" MJ says sitting on a barstool in the Avegner's kitchen.
How she got here no one will know.
"Umm... Mr. Winter Soldier White Wolf sir-" I begin to ask
"Bucky," he interrupts
"Ooookkayy Mr. Bucky Winter Soldier White Wolf sir-" he interrupts me AGAIN to facepalm "What are we doing again?"
"Making cookies," he says as emotionlessly as MJ
Shuri squeals but coughs to cover it up.
"His cookies are the best Peter you're so lucky!!!!" Shuri exclaims excitedly
"Unlucky? Yes I am," I pout
"How adorable," MJ harasses me monotonically
I scowl and turn away
"See? Look adorable," MJ responds to lack of a response
"What an adorable child," Shuri betrays mEeEeE
"Y'all are so mean," I poke Shuri in the cheek
Shuri pokes me back and sticks her tongue out at me.
I've been betrayed, attacked, harassed what next? Who else will betray me.
"I agree with the other children, smol child is clearly adorable,"Mr.Bucky nods in agreement
I shoulda keep my mouth shut.
Everyone in this god forsaken timeline is terrible. no exceptions. Not even for the Cookie Monster. >:(
They burst out laughing. Even Mr.Bucky chuckled
Did I say that out loud? Whoops
"H-how did you even say '>:(' outloud?" Shuri wheezed.
"He be smol boi" Mr.Bucky says when everyone stops wheezing and everyone starts wheezing again.
"You know too much slang to be captain America's boyfriend who even is you?" I ask
Before Mr.Bucky can say anything Shuri cuts in and says,"I taught him the ways of ze memes in Wakanda."
"That's literally the funniest thing I've ever heard," MJ responds without the hint of emotion on her face, just like how everyone texts.
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Sorry this is so short I haven't had the bestest of times but reallly wanted to post something for y'all
Also, sorry for formatting I'm on phone
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A Spider's Family
FanfictionPeter Parker was an average teenager- well as average as life can get when you're a superhero orphan that goes by the name Spiderman. Everyday was the same wake up, go to school, get bullied, go on patrol, go back to the orphanage and go to sleep...
