diary of an anonymous author

jumping back in

hi,

it's been awhile since i've updated, but in my own defense, i definitely forgot this app existed.

in reference to the chapter i previously wrote, i broke up with mike. at the time, it was a really hard, really awful situation. i thought way higher of him at the time than i should've and that's okay. hindsight is always 20/20. but, i'm very over it now, personally, i'm very happy.

i'm happily single, applying (and accepted) to college, and trying to figure out what the hell i'm going to do with the rest of my life?

be a real estate agent?

teacher?

international spy?

i don't know, i can't decide.

however, this year has been really stressful and filled.

i got nominated as a "queen" kind of situation at my school (extremely surprised), competed in my sport for the first time, got accepted to college, and now my favorite time of the year is starting up.

and i'm trying to think of if i want to jump back in... ya know.. to dating.

i've been single and not talking to anyone since late june to early july and it's been really nice.

i'm genuinely the happiest i've been in a long time.

but, i've been, as most people including myself would say, "thirsting" bad. and it's been ridiculous. any guy that i think is attractive, i immediately want to talk to, but don't. mainly because low self-esteem or other priorities that come up and i use it as an excuse to not talk to them.

i've been wondering if i should make an actual effort to go out and.. talk to guys? have a date to prom? go out? i don't know. i don't think it's something i'm actually interested in, but another part of me wants that affection. it's cuffing season after all.

there's some people that i have my eyes on, so i'll have to see what i decide to do....