diary of an anonymous author

the college life for me

gooooood morning everybody (i say as i type this at 12:35 AM)

i am officially a college student. a college athlete.

and i am so extremely grateful to be on campus and in a dorm right now. covid-19 is really scary and friends i know have gotten it, but my school is doing their best to make sure we can stay here. and i'm very appreciative.

i love my dorm a lot. it's not what i wanted or expected, but i'm in a room meant for two people by myself. and my suite-mate is one of my best friends.

what  a time to be alive.

i can't wait to write more drunk stories for you guys.

NOT THAT YOU SHOULD BE GETTING DRUNK AS A MINOR OR COLLEGE FRESHMAN, OKAY? NO ADVOCATING. NOR SAYING I WILL BE PARTICIPATING, JUST SAYING...

anyways, i guess i should update on the past time that i haven't written.. i was just really trying to live my best life and spend time with friends while we had a short time.

i went on a date with lethardnon, i didn't lose feelings and in fact, i fell in love with him. ya know, because i'm kind of a dumb ass. and now he is living 2 and a half hours away from me. and it sucks.

i haven't seen him in going on 4 days and it sucks more every day.

i honestly don't think i cried harder than when i cried the night before i moved into my dorm. i had a couple of panic attacks and cried for probably 2 hours straight because i was scared and didn't want to lose him.

for a minute i thought that i couldn't live without him, but it's more that i don't want to.

i don't want to have a normal day where i don't see him or where he's not mean to me in person just because i get flustered.

i don't want a normal without him.

and i hope that he knows that.

i don't want him to know that i fell in love though, because we're not dating. and that'll scare him.

and frankly, it scares me because... i'm still learning to love myself.

and it has been so much worse not being able to be in the gym and having so much food around to eat at school. THIS SHIT'S HARD.

but as soon as the campus gym opens back up, i'm headed there. and i'm trying to be conscious of what i put in my body, it's just that i eat more with my orientation groups because we eat at least 2 meals a day with them.

speaking of, my suite-mate, lizard, and i are making good friends with people in our orientation group and it's ridiculously nice. getting invited to parties, living the good life. tomorrow is the last day of orientation and then classes start on thursday.. that's when my panic will probably set in...

but, i'm enjoying this.

i'll never have this time back and i refuse to let covid stop me from having a freshman year of college that i love.

am i excited about online classes?

absolutely not.

am i ready to make college my bitch?

1000%.

i know this was ranty and not very put together, but i just felt the need to write and document the last couple of days. it's been so much fun. a very good time.

and as much as i miss lethardnon, tantor, jammy, and others... i'm excited to see how we grow together while going to school apart...

sincerely, for the first time,

college k :)