mixed emotions Aka (own Up To YOUR RESPONSIBLY)

chapter 4

I woke up feeling pain not fiscally but mentally I really don't know why I get up and do my hygiene and shower and put on my outfit
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I went to adiens room and seen him already dressed

"Good morning"I said to him as he looked at TV he looked over at me and smiled

"You hungry"I asked him and he nods

"What do you want for breakfast"I asked him

"Coca puff"he said and he ran to the kitchen and I met him there I grabbed a bowl and made him some coca puffs and he looked at TV down stairs in the living room while eating I just got on my phone I wasn't hungry

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Me and adien and Lena  was at the park he was playing with his friend I was talking to Lena ofc

"Wait so you mean to tell me he was crying like hard asf"she asked shocked

"Yeah I felt bad it reminds me of-gco

"You"she answered for me and I nodded

"Yeah"I said and put my head down I hated talking about my past it's no good

"I remember when u was like that and to be real with you u kinda still are... just kinda"Lena told me and I agreed with her 100% but it hurts to talk about it

"Let's not talk about the past"I said to her and she nodded understanding

"Adien is so adorable"she said squealing I laughed at her reaction nodded

"Yeah he sure is i wish u would have a baby already"I said and she looked ate shocked

"Bitch me?with a baby? I don't know sis I mean im picky on who I wanna have a baby with I do want one tho just not at the moment"she explained I shook my head and giggles atwhat she said she funny asf I then seen adien running over towards us.

"Makayla can we go get ice cream"he asked me I smiled and nodded

"Of course anything for you"I said and me,him and Lena got up and got in the car and I drove to the ice cream shop it wasn't that far from the park at all I pulled up and we got out and walked in

"What flavor do you want"I asked adien and he started jumping up and down.

"Chocolate and caramel!"he said all happy I giggled and order it and got me and Lena some vanilla ice cream with sprinkles I'm not that fancy when it comes to food or money

He gave us are ice cream and we got back in the car and started eating

"So adien how close is you and x"Lena asked my eyes widen and I punched her in the arm

"What"she said rubbing her arm why the hell would she ask him that it's not her business

"Well we have a okay bond sometimes we argue"he said and he looked sad about it I gave lena that 'why you do that' stare she knew I was annoyed by what she did I could tell she felt guilty

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We pulled up to the house I took Lena home and I got out my car and opened the back door for adien but he was sleep I grabbed him and carried him in the house to his room I then laid him in his bed

"Damn boy you heavy"I said to myself and walked out his room as I was walking down the stairs I seen x coming out his room and closed his door he looked at me

"Don't go in my room"he told me like boy if you don't move around what the fuck I wanna go in there for

"I didn't plan on it"I said and walked down stairs bro the kitchen and grabbed a slice of watermelon and got on my phone I gave people advice but really I need help I need someone who I can vent to I mean I can. Vent to Lena I tell her everything but I need someone who can understand what I'm talking about ya know

I then ate my stuff and sat on the couch and looked at TV I felt my eyes getting heavy I soon went to sleep

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I woke up but I was no longer on the couch and someone was hovering over me I was still hella sleepy tho i then seen that Asian boy from the party

"Get off me"I said trying to get out his grip but he was strong I was struggling he then unbuckled his pants and pulled my panties  and stuck a finger in me it hurted bad asf

"SOMEBODY HEL-GCO he put his hand over my mouth please God don't let this happen to me the door burst open reveling x, ski,and wifi trunks looked scared he quickly jumped off me I climed off the bed crying

"What the fuck you doing bruh"ski looking at him in discus they all looked at him that way

"Look man it's not what it looks like she wanted m-gco by me

"No the hell o didn't you stupid pervert rapist"I said crying was he really trying to blame this on me I was sleep

"So you raping girls now bruh? Huh? That's what we doing"x said pissed his eyes turned dark and he and ski and wifi started too jump him

" I ran out the room to see adien he looked half sleep but scrared I quickly put him in the room and laid him back down

And walked in my room and put on some underwear and shors and sat in the corner and cried hard why does shit always happen to me

My door open but I didn't lift my head up I kept it down as I cried I then heard walking coming towards me I began to panic whole crying then I felt a hand touch me causing me to flinch

"It's okay it's x"x said to me I looked up and seen him I felt safe now that he was here but why

"Did he......you know"he said not wanting to say it I sighed

"He stuck a finger in me and it hurted"I said honestly I'm a virgin so of course it was going to hurt

"Oh your a"he said and I nodded

"Yep what do you want x you didn't want me to bother u yestday so why do u bother me now"I asked him he  kinda soften up when I said that

"I just wanted to see if you were okay I'm sorry he won't come back I promise"x said and walked out my rooms and closed the door

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Well how u like the book

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Who am I? someone that's afraid to let go-xxxtentacion