mixed emotions Aka (own Up To YOUR RESPONSIBLY)

Chapter 29

{Makayla pov}

\dream/

"Trapped in a concept,falsely accused,misused and misled bitch I'm hoping you fucking Rest In Peace

Now the fact that I'm alone is fucking comforting and I can't seem to shake this fucking feeling in my " a man sings I could hear him but I couldn't see him

The voice sounded familiar so did the song ,I could hear the hurt in him whoever he was

But I could tell by his words his pain turned into anger as I walked threw the woods I tried to follow the sound

"Cold shoulder ,heartbroken,misspoken,I'm cut open,her Fingers & all my stab wounds,and if she could she'd probably dance,on my grave,inside my head,I see your face, I fucking hate,that I love you still" I could hear all his anger and sadness I felt myself getting closer as the voice got louder

"carry on, life flies, so just carry on
With this pain inside of my chest
Got no choice but to carry on, uh
Carry on, life flies, so just carry on
With this pain inside of my chest
Got no choice but to carry on, uh
Carry on, life flies, so just carry on
With this pain inside of my chest
Got no choice but to carry on, uh
Yeah" I seen 2 people sitting on the beautiful hill I once had a dream of one played a guitar w/ there backs faced towards me I could see them it was very dark

"How did you get here?
I'm drunk and confused
I tried to be patient with you, yeah ,ouuuu, you fucked that up"one sung finishing The song I started to approach them both They had revenge hoodies on it was nice but I still couldn't see who they were I touched one shoulder lightly as they head turned to me

/dream over\

I woke up in bed next to nobody jumping up quickly remembering jahseh was in bed with me before I feel asleep

I felt alone....instantly,him not being here when I woke up makes this feeling come over me like it's happened before

/flash back/

I heard the door open and I knew it was x I walked downstairs and seen him he came up to me and kissed me

"I missed you"he said hugging me I hugged him back

"I missed you too ...can we talk"I said on the urge of crying

"Sure and why have you been crying your eyes are so red and puffy who I gotta kill"he said

"Nobody umm I don't know how to tell you this but I'm um see well I'm pregnant"I said handing him the test he liked shocked

"Are you going to abort it"he asked me I gave him that what the fuck fce

"N..no x I'm keeping it"I said he sighed and out his head in his hands

"I'm not ready to be no father Makayla"he said there I goes the words I don't wanna hear

"But x this I your child, this is OUR child "I said I began. To cry once again

"I know but I just got my career and shit going I ain't ready for a kid kayla"he said getting up

"Oh and you think I am ,you think I'm ready ,no I'm not I'm scared I have no one and you are not helping here I need you x to be here with me and this baby"I said and he looked at me like this was goodbye

"Kayla I love you and I won't let nobody hurt you but I'm not ready Kayla"he said kissing me and broke it

"So your just gonna leave me like i was never shit to you"I asked him crying

"I just need to think Kayla"he said walking out I cried hard

"God what do I do now"I said to God I was so fucking scared how do I tell my mom

(Later that day)

(Old Dream)

"1...2...3... push" the nurse said and I felt the body come out and the nurse handed me our baby it looks just like jahseh

"Give me the fucking baby!!"Geneva and some other niggas busted threw the delivery room w/ guns

It's like every thing was moving to fast I heard guns shots then my baby beaming took effect out my hand and screaming

"GIVE MY BACK OUR BABY"I yelled as I cried but they were gone

All the nurses were dead and I looked over and saw jahseh lifeless body on the floor

"NOOOOO"I fell out the bed hitting my head and crawled to jahseh holding his body

"NO NO NO"

/Dream over/

I jumped out of my sleep scared shitless I looked at my stomach then I turned next to me to tell jah-

He's gone....I forgot...... I'm alone... I feel tears coming down my face as I could feel the pain in my heart and chest as I grew numb
/flashback over/

Tears came  running down my face fast as I cried in silence  balled up sitting on the bed fearing he left me again but for another reasons

Is it because I'm mentally fucked up , is it because I'm gaining weight or I'm bc I'm ugly and don't wear makeup

I can feel my heart racing like it was about to beat threw my chest I felt heavy weight on my chest and my breathing began to pick up more like I was trying to reach for air I could feel my brown skin heat up and turn red and sweat I got off the bed but quickly fell as I began to pass out slowly

He left me.... again🥀

(45 minutes later)

I feel cold very cold water on me but still I was dizzy and I remembered jahseh left me Again

Then I felt some one shaking me

"Makayla,Kayla  baby wake up"I heard jahsehs voice making me gasped for air and jump back to reality he was in the shower with me as we still had clothes on

"Don't ever scare me like that again" he said then I quickly hugged him as I cried he rubbed my back

"What happened"he asked me

"I woke up and you weren't in bed with me anymore then a peace of my memory came back and I remember when you left me,when I told you I was pregnant

I remembered how i felt ,how you mad e me feel,alone ,but now that your here I feel safe & less lonely

"I'll never leave you again Makayla I promise"he said then kissed my forehead

—-

We Put on new clothes and promise was sleeping again jahseh and promise went to the store earlier when I had my mental breakdown

All I could think about was that hill I keep dreaming about

"U okay babygirl"he asked me

"I keep having these dreams and this boy around are age would start singing he sounds hurt and angry but as soon as I turn to see how he looks I wake up and we're always at this hill of the most beautiful view of Florida"i told him his face it up

"What!"I asked him

"I've got a way too get your memories back  with me and promise"he said I smiled and said okay and he called Lena and ski over

I hope what he's doing works!🦋