mixed emotions Aka (own Up To YOUR RESPONSIBLY)

chapter 9

We get in the house and ski was already drinking and x I really don't know where he is but I wanted to dance so I went looking for x I was walking up the stairs and I bumped into someone

"I'm sorry"i said and looked up to see

"Holy shit"i said in shock it's Billie elish she chuckled

"Your totally fine what's your name"she asked is she really talking to me

"Makayla"I said smiling and she shook my hand

"You seem cool here let's exchange numbers she said giving me her phone and taking my phone

I put my name as Makayla with a black heart and gave her,her phone back and she gave mine

"Wanna take some shots"she asked me I nodded my no

"I don't really drank"I said she sighed

"Come on you need to losing up some live a lil"she said smiling shaking me but I still said no

"Okay well I'ma be in the kitchen"she said smiling walking away I nodded and continued looking for x I can't believe I just met her

I then had to pee so I was on my way to finding the bathroom and I found it and opened the door

"Shit"x said putting his dick back in his pants and the girl he was fucking put her clothes on

Heartbroken yeah that's the word by someone I dont even date but hey I guess that my fault I began to walk towards the stairs but someone grabbed my arm I knew who it was I snatched my arm back and looked at him

"It looks like you were having fun go do you"I said and walked aways into the kitchen

"MAKAYLA"I HEARD x yell my name over the music I ignored him I then went in the kitchen and seen Billie

"Hey still up for them shots"I asked her she began to smile

"Fuck yeah let's do this shit"she said as everyone started cheering me on she poured some patron in some shot glass we drink one but one turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into for a d four turned into 8

I was getting dizzy and I was pretty fucked up so was she

"Woooooooo let's go dance"she said

"Let's go"I  said and we began to dance and that's when 'slimed out' came on everyone including me and Billie started rapping it

"SHE WHISPERED IN MY EAR BITCH IMA HUNNIT UP"WE ALL YELLED then Billie got a call then she hung up

"Sorry I have to go call me when u make it home so I know your safe"she said I gave her a hug and she left it started to get hot so I decided to go outside I went on the side of the house and stood there

Why do I keep hurting myself like this
___

it was the next day I was completely having mixed emotions for.this boy

I'm a failure I could never get him even if I tried he was not worrying about me at all that's what I keep telling myself

Then I heard my window open to my surprise it is x I cried even harder trying to look at him but I failed he came over and hugged me tight ..

"What's wrong who I gotta kill"he said serious

"Me"I said he looked me in the eyes full of lust like he cared but was it all just an act

" don't say shit like that"he said serious my cries began to slow down

"Why do you care anyways...."I asked him still in his arms

"Because I do you don't deserve to be treated like shit"he told me I scoffed

"Too late for that"I said he opened his mouth to say something but we heard a knock on the door we got up an ld went to the door I opened it to see Kevin.

"Leave"I said to him but he grabbed me by the throat x punching him in the face repeatedly blood coming out of Kevin's face

"Okay x stop"I said trying to break him up but he wasn't budging I began to cry out of frustration

"STOP PLEASE"I yelled and x stopped and spat

"Don't ever put your hands on my girl pussy ass nigga"x said to Kevin

Wait your girl?

"This the nigga you with huh"Kevin said and he left I ran upstairs and x follows

"You okay"he said and I shook my head no

He then took his necklace off his neck and put it around mine it had a J on it

"As long as you got this necklace I'll keep you safe all you have to do is call me and I'm there"he told me I then laid down and he opened my legs and laid between them my heart was beating faster than fucking Sonic when he run

"I think I'm falling for you..."I said to him he looks up at me

"Don't I'll only hurt you"he said resting his face on my stomach

"But your the one who makes me happy inside and out"I said to him honestly he's the only one I want to be with

"Give me your wrist"I told him he didn't question it he just gave it to me as he laid in my stomach in between my legs

I took the bracelet off my wrist and put it on his

"This is are bond meaning it will never break"I said to him he chuckled

"Promise me you won't take the necklace off Makayla"he asks me.looking me in the eyes as I looked him back in the eyes

"Promise me you won't take off the bracelet you'll keep it on........ forever"I said he looked at me & he bracelet

"Forever"he told me and I laid down and he came up to my face he looked me in the me in the eyes and at my lips and back to my eyes to my lips and he leaned in and are lips connected we passionately kissed he added tongue and I went along with it I couldn't believe it so many emotions was going threw my head I couldn't think straight he then broke the kiss

"I.....I love you"he said I was shocked why why would he love me

"What if it's a lie"I asked him serious

"Then I'll lie forever"he said I smiled and so did he and he kissed me again

Vote and comment pls

And if she could she'd probably dance on my grave inside my head,I see you face the fucking hate that I love you still~xxxtentacion