mixed emotions Aka (own Up To YOUR RESPONSIBLY)

chapter 18

It was 8:23pm and x was still here with promise

"Mommy can u sing me the song u always do putting me to bed"she said I nodded and I sat next to her and x was on the other side of her as she laid there smiling

"Take me to the roof top I wanna see the world the world when I stop breathing, Turning blue,tell me love is endless don't be so pretintous,leave me like you do,if you need me,wanna see me,better hurry, cause I'm leaving soon, sorry can't save me now,sorry I don't know how, sorry there's no way out but down.hmm.down

Taste me salty tears on my cheek that's what a year long headache does to you.im not okay.feel so scattered.dont say I'm all that matters.leave  me deja vu.if you need me.wanna see me.better hurry.cause I'm leaving soon.sorry can't save me now.sorry I can't know how.sorry j
ry there's no way out but down.hmm.down call my friends and tell them that I love them and I'll miss them.but I'm not sorry.call my friends and tell them that I love them and I'll miss them.sorry"I sang I wrote that song for x when he left me I was hurt and every since promise was born every time I sang the song she would get happy and it would calm her down and put her to sleep I looked down and seen her sleep so I left out her room x follows Lena left now it was just us

"She's so beautiful she looks just like you"x said I giggled

"She had your eyes"I said and there it was the weird silence in the room

"You kept it on"he said touching the necklace I nodded

"So did you"I said looking at the bracelet

"I promised I would never take it off"he said and I cried hard he holded me

"Jahseh why would you leave me"I asked as we sat on the couch and he holded me

"I'm so fucking sorry makayla for everything I wish I could take it back I really do but I'm glad I came back before she got older and she never wants to see me again I was so fucking stupid Makayla and for those three years passed I was thinking about u and our baby I never wanted to leave I just wasn't ready but I sooner on realized I should have stayed I should have been a man and owned up to my responsibilities Makayla this is not your fault this is mines and I'm gonna go to to hell and back just to show the both of you how much I care and love you guys"he said to my now he had a couple of years falling down but not like mines

/Flash back/

"Wait x can we please just talk about this"I said crying I'm 5 months pregnant

"MAKAYLA"he yelled then seen how scared I got and he calmed down

"Look I can't right now I only came to get stuff"he said I was so fucking mad I  Punched him in the face his eyes turned black it was scary but it didn't scare me not how mad I was

"You need to be a man and take care of this baby with me"I said serious he just left out and didn't say goodbye

I lost him forever

/Flashback over/

We broke the hug and I looked him both of are eyes were red and puffy I hated seeing him like this,I hated seeing myself like this my emotions was running wild

"Your still beautiful"he said making me blush I just looked down

"I still got that affect on you,I'm surprised"he said lifting my head up by my chin

"Can I take you and promise out tomorrow"I said he asked me looking all sexy his fucking face made me wet to be honest

"I don't know x"I said and he gave me the puppy dog eyes

"Please I just want to spend time with her and you"he said to me I mean her and x should get to know each other more

"Fine what time"I asked him he had a big goofy smile on his face

"I'm coming to pick y'all up at 2:30 be ready"he said I walked him to the front door and he turned around and kissed my forehead

"Goodnight Makayla"he said and walked to his car

"Good night x"I said and closed my door and slid down it I missed that I missed him telling me he loved  me I miss him laying next to me I just miss us

I walked up to my room and turned the TV on Tom & Jerry and laid in my bed a fell asleep

Tell me I've been lied to~billie