𝐏𝐀𝐔𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌 」 Lookism

≫ 119

"THE REALISM OF LIFE"
[1/3]

trigger warnings.

• • •

Something about Y/N was off.

In the silent apartment, Y/N slept soundly in bed as Bambi slept in her own.

She tossed & turned in her sleep, before finally opening her eyes. She stared at the ceiling for moments, staring into it as her thoughts grew larger and larger.

Y/N snapped away from those evil thoughts when her alarm went off. She turned it off & sat up of bed as the room's lights dimmed on.

Good morning Y/N! Her phone chanted as it continued to read the news and announce the weather.

She sat there quietly, not moving from the bed. Her feet touched the cold, dark wood floor and she clutched the white sheets while staring at the floor.

I wonder if there would be better days if I just died that day.

I caused dad's poverty.

Mom hates me because I was the cause of her life ruining.

Jiho should've finished the job.

Her head felt heavy as her mind spurred into bad thoughts. She closed her eyes & brought her hands to her head, wanting to shut those thoughts away. Y/N's thoughts quieted & she slowly stood up to get ready for the day.

"Good morning." She greeted the cheerful dog as she weakingly poured the dog food for her.

Bambi immediately began to eat. Y/N patted her dog's head as she poured the water into her bowl. Her hands shook as she tried her best not to spill the water. A sting hit her head again & she caused a spill on the wooden floor.

"Shit." She cussed as she placed the pitcher onto the counter and grabbed paper towels, ripping them off and patting down the water.

"Sorry." Bambi barked, with a confused look on her face, "Finish eating."

Y/N stood up from her crouch and shivered at the coldness of the house. She quietly went to the bathroom, turned on the faucet & brushed her teeth. She didn't bother to look into the mirror.

Last night, she came to a realization.

Without her hair fixed or a layer of makeup, Y/N wasn't as pretty as everyone said she would be. Yesterday, she stared back at the mirror & realized that her features were below her good friends. She wasn't good enough for society as herself.

Y/N turned off the faucet and began to place the skin care products. She let it sit for a few minutes and opened her mirror. There sat a full case of anti-depressants that she stopped taking a few months back. She picked it up & hesitantly opened it, taking the right dosage dry and continuing her routine.

They weren't going to help.

She wiped her face mask off and threw her face towel onto the hangar. She shut the light and rushed back to her room.