You Can Have My Heart (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

Bucketlist

That night was the first night that we didn't have sex, and I guess it was nice to know that we didn't need it to feel close. We cuddled up on the couch, my legs tangled between his, and we watched a movie called the 'The Bucketlist'; a story of two terminally ill men who seek to do all the things they want before they die.

As Oli cuddled me on the couch after the movie ended, I thought about the whole bucketlist thing and wondered what Oli dreamed of doing. We'd never really talked about the future, and I was curious. "What's on your bucketlist?" I asked Oli as I looked up at him curiously. "Like, what are 5 things you want to do in your life." I said turning myself around to face him.
"Mmmm... mine would be more things I can't make happen though, like I can't control them." he said as he thought about it.
"It doesn't matter, tell me anyway." I said with a smile. I wasn't going to let him not give me insight into his dreams. Maybe I could help him to achieve them. I would love to be able to.
"Well, winning a grammy." he said. "I know that's silly, but it's the biggest music award there is. It would be amazing, though almost impossible." he added. It made sense given what he did as a career that it would be on his list.
"It's not silly at all! And you can definitely achieve that. I will help you! I have faith in you." I said. He smiled and blushed a little. "Thanks. I've always wanted to open a bar too, so I guess that would be number 2." he said.
"That would be cool, and you can totally do that." I said. "That's an easy one." I added.
"Yeah, when I have free time I suppose... like a bar with vegan food." he added. "And I kind of want to hike up Mount Kilimanjaro." he said. "And I want to get married and I want to be a Dad." he added kind of quickly, and shyly, rounding out his list of 5 things. I smiled at him, trying not to get gushy about the last two things on his list... but the way he said it... not that he wants to have kids, but that he wants to be a Dad. It was too cute.

"So I guess I can start with the hike and maybe the bar." he said, maybe a little weirded out that he'd just admitted the last ones to me.
"Your list is amazing, mine seems so superficial now." I laughed.
"I'm sure it's not, tell me." he replied with a smile.
"Well, I want to buy my own apartment." I said. "And I want to adopt a pet, because I love animals." I added.
"That's not superficial at all!" he quipped.
"And I really want to see the Northern Lights... they look so beautiful and I have never seen them." I said excitedly. He smiled at me.
"Really?" he asked.
"Yep! Ever since I heard about them. Have you seen them?" I asked inquisitively.
"Yeah. They're absolutely beautiful. It's like magic or something." he replied. "I will take you to see them." he said kissing my forehead. I smiled at his gesture.

"What am I up to? Three? Oh yeah, I want to go skydiving... even though it scares me, I still want to do it." I admitted. Oli's eyes went wide. "Oh god... you're crazy!" he laughed. I guess he wasn't as much as a daredevil as me. "And I want to swim with sharks." I confessed. Oli kind of laughed.
"Wow, OK, I didn't see that one coming!" he laughed. The truth was, True Love was always on my bucketlist, but I didn't know if I should say it... I guess, maybe I'd already found it? "Being a successful model was on there too, but maybe I can say I've ticked that one off." I laughed.
"Yeah you definitely can." Oli agreed. 

It was so interesting to hear what he aspired to, I would never have guessed he wanted to open a bar or hike a mountain... and even though it didn't surprise me that he wanted to get married and have kids, I was a little surprised that he'd been so open about it. Of course they were on my list too, but I thought it was crazy to talk about so soon so I just left them off. Maybe I shouldn't have worried about it... but then maybe it was weird for him now that I hadn't said I wanted those things. Maybe he'd think I didn't want them. Shit. I should have been more honest and open with him. "I want to have kids and get married too." I blurted out suddenly without thinking. Shit. Why did I just say out of nowhere?! Now it was weird... I had to say something else to take the seriousness of what I said away. And quickly. "I want to get married in a castle." I said with an embarrassed smile. Surely adding that random piece of info would divert the fact that I just blurted out that I wanted kids and marriage. "A castle?!" he questioned with a funny expression.
"Yeah, I'm a typical girl. I want to be a princess." I said before laughing loudly. The castle comment had shifted the seriousness of the entire conversation. Thank god. He laughed and kissed my forehead again. "Fuck being a princess, you're a queen in my eyes." he said with another little kiss. Nawww... he was so sweet.

We just laid there for a while before his phone beeped, jolting us from almost falling asleep on the couch. "Oh! Did I tell you we're playing one final show for Sempiternal in December?" Oli asked me as he looked at his phone. He definitely hadn't since I thought the last one was in Orlando in a weeks time. "It's for VEVO and they just confirmed the venue." he said with a huge smile. "It's in a church!" he quipped.
"You're playing a concert in a church?" I asked confused.
"Yeah, cool huh?" he asked. "I really hope you can come, it's going to be so good." he said looking at me, still with a massive smile.
"That's so cool! I'll do everything I can to be there." I said, lifting my face up to kiss him. "I don't want to miss the last one!" I added.

As we laid there he told me that the band were planning on writing a new album in the new year, that they'd probably bunker down somewhere for a couple of months to write and record... that they were thinking of Croatia or Greece... somewhere near the ocean and away from the UK, where they could relax and keep their heads clear. Between us, we had quite the busy and exciting life. He assured me that even though he'd be in lock down that I was always allowed  to be there and that he wanted me to visit as often as I could... that all of the girls would visit a couple of times, to 'keep the guys sane', especially since they'd be locked away over Valentine's Day. In other words, probably so they didn't all get too sexually frustrated. It wasn't hard to read between the lines. "I will come and relieve your sexual frustration as often as I can." I said jokingly. Oli laughed and blushed then kissed me. We talked about his plans more before heading to bed kind of early, even though we had the entire next day to do whatever we wanted. I think I was sort of eternally tired from the year I'd had anyway, so I fell asleep quickly, with Oli stroking my hair as I did.

The following day was super chilled out. We ventured to my local cafe for breakfast and picked up the laundry, headed home where Oli did some song writing and dealt with a few things for Drop Dead and the upcoming church show, while I studied my calendar to see if I could go. It would be tight between work commitments, but I could squeeze in 3 days in Sheffield – just long enough to see the show and make it worth the flight from the USA. We looked at things in Asia together that we wanted to try and fit in between shows while I was on tour with him there in a few weeks time and we play wrestled on the couch because well, we're crazy. Behati called once she found out about Hannah's engagement and I was excited to tell her that Oli and I were official. It was kind of crazy that I'd not even told her yet, but it was my first real time alone with Oli and to be honest, I literally forgot about pretty much everyone so I could just focus on him. She understood, and between both sets of news she was almost beside herself with happiness. "Oh my god, I'm gonna be a bridesmaid for Hannah and you!" she joked. I rolled my eyes, typical Behati. "Seriously though, are you in love with him?" she asked me down the line. I felt myself blush and I looked to check where Oli was before I replied. "Yeah. I'm stupidly in love with him." I whispered back. "Awwww..." she replied. We wrapped up the conversation and said we'd find time to catch up as soon as I was back in LA.

The day passed quickly, even though we didn't do much, and by 6pm we'd packed up ready for the trip to Philadelphia the next day. I was excited to see another of Oli's shows, well, Bring Me The Horizon's shows... I really loved seeing him in his element and I was sure I'd enjoy it even more than the last time now that I was actually in a relationship with him. It was crazy to me that the last time I saw him perform we were only just friends again, now, six weeks later, I was his girlfriend and totally in love with him. We showered together which inevitably turned into a session of slippery love-making, followed by a fun soap fight and sweet towel cuddles before we got into bed, ready for the next day. I was excited for our trip to Philadelphia and Washington DC and my chance to see my man up on stage again. I was going on tour with Oli and I couldn't wait.