Polaroid (A Phan AU)

Chapter Two

My trembling hand fell upon the iced over handle of the gate, pushing it open in one deft movement. The quiet tap of my school shoes infiltrated the peace as I made my way up the path and towards the front entrance of my home. Despite my initial plans to walk straight in, my arm paused as it reached towards the doorknob when I heard shouting echoing from inside. With a sigh, I spun around and leaned back against the cold wood, deciding to wait it out. Something about the outdoor tranquility and the indoor chaos just didn't quite mix for me.

To pass some time, I delved in my trouser pocket for the photos that had now fully developed, a smile etched upon my face as I looked over them with pride. The beautifully flawless flower, and my beautifully flawed best friend. Caught in a moment of beauty, caught in a moment of rare embarrassment. The only real highlights of my insanely bipolar day.

The whole school thing never really worked for me; I was always the kind of boy that worked a little too hard in lessons for my peers' liking, and paid for it dearly. I was bright, I knew that! So I always thought, why take it for granted? But I suppose the other boys just considered me pompous and pretentious. I didn't really blame them though. And today had been twice as bad as usual, seeing as Chris was called away for drama rehearsals at break and lunch, leaving me alone to be inevitably cornered by a group of mentally inept fools.

But then, when school had ended and I had my two pictures, a strange sense of euphoria settled over me, gracing me with its rare presence. Having Chris reveal some kind of normal emotion was satisfying too. Chris, though he had been my only friend for around a year at this point, was always one to mask everything with being all dramatic and Shakespearean - now I knew why! I always got the feeling that he only put up with me because he, too, had nobody else to turn with. Maybe, though, he was starting to grow at least a little fond of me.

Really, I was lucky. I had a family, some amount of money, a friend, a decent brain, and some skills at drawing. I wasn't entirely disadvantaged, nor was I overly advantaged: An okay balance. Why did everything always have to be 'okay' though? Why couldn't anything ever be 'amazing' or 'fantastic' for once?

With another quick glance at the photos, I pushed all such thoughts from my mind and shoved them (carefully) into my pocket once more. Admitting to myself that I couldn't really stand out in the freezing cold for much longer, I turned to face the door and let myself in reluctantly.

Walking up the hallway, the ear-splitting bellows from the living room only grew louder. I heard my mums voice, screaming unintelligible slurs. I crept up the last part of the hallway and pressed my ear against the door, cursing the sound muffling wood, and blessing it at the same time for concealing me. I did my best to catch up with the situation on the other side of the door.

"Irresponsible! That's what it is! Disrespectful too! You stupid little girl, how DARE you directly disobey me like that? Are actually stupid? Is there actually nothing inside that thick skull of yours?!" My mum yelled without drawing breath once.

"That isn't fair! I'm not Phil you know, I don't freaking know everything, don't act like you expect me to! I'm not stupid, I'm perfectly alright thank you!" My breath caught as i heard my sister mention my name and I eagerly listened on, my fathers overpowering voice interjecting.

"Your mother is right, Cassandra! We specifically said no, and what do you do? Blatantly ignore is, and with your mums money, I- just look at you!"

"I'm seventeen years old, I'm allowed to make my own decisions! Its not my fault you were back early, I was going to return it! Why won't you let me express myself for gods sake?! What's so bad about wanting to stand out? At least I'm not a sheep, or some nagging old witch or raging alcoholic!"