Polaroid (A Phan AU)

Chapter Sixteen

He’s my brother, my blood. He annoys the hell out of me most of the time, but when it comes right down to it I want to see him graduate from college and have little annoying mini-Phils running around in the future.

~Simone Elkeles

Cassie:

My mind was a swirling abyss.

Everyone's mind goes further than they think. There are parts you never knew existed, you never want to exist.

I was falling into my own brain, and I couldn't escape.

Mum was vacant and distant, and Phil was so busy all the time. Kenji tried his best, bless him, but depression isn't something that can be solved with a few kind words.

The one thing I lacked most was motivation.

What was the point in getting up in the morning? What was I ever going to achieve.

People like Phil, they had motivation. I'd hear him getting ready in the morning, hurrying to get to school. Come home, sit in his room  with his homework. Then get ready again, and set off babysitting. He still crawled into bed with me and told me about his day, even though he knew I wouldn't listen. And he asked me about my day, even though he knew I wouldn't answer.

And it made me feel so, so horrible.

Because Phil would always come home from babysitting with a huge smile on his face, and...

I could never make him smile anymore.

And ultimately, the only thing I wanted in life was to make Phil happy. I'd fly to London and steal the Prince, if it made him happy.

I wanted to be able to make him smile again, to be the reason for his laugh, to cause the twinkle in his eyes.

Phil was my motivation.

A/N

This was a little different, and quite short. I'll probably update again today, so usual a/n business will be in there!

~Georgina <3

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