Polaroid (A Phan AU)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Life is full of confusion. Confusion of love, passion, and romance. Confusion of family and friends. Confusion with life itself. What path we take, what turns we make. How we roll our dice.

~Matthew Underwood

Dan:

Lily was mad at me. And by mad, I don't mean I'm-fondly-annoyed-but-I'll-kiss-you-anyway mad. I mean I'm-going-to-blatantly-ignore-you-until-you-apologise-to-me-sincerely mad.

I suppose she had decent reason to me angry, but I had explained myself and justified my actions. She was just being stubborn.

On the day we all crowded in Phil's tiny sitting room, we had originally been going out to celebrate Darcy's dance contest victory. She'd been more than happy to change our plans when she heard about Phil, and she wanted to meet Phil.

Lily, however, had had to put on a brace front. She liked Phil, but he made her nervous; she knew that I was bi, and had noticed us getting closer, and it scared her. I'd reassured her constantly, but still.

I think she would have been able to take the first day, but then I stood her up to go to the hospital with Phil. We were supposed to go out to town, but then Phil called and I couldn't refuse.

I loved Lily, I did: she was kind and confident and talented and funny and every kind of beautiful.

But Phil had tainted my view of her.

Every time she complimented me or made a joke I cringed. Every time she sang I felt awkward.

I felt horrible about it, knowing there was a time when she was everything to me and I was everything to her, and we were drifting apart. She was spending more time with her sister and her friends, and I was spending more time with Phil.

I hated myself for it, but with Phil everything was so cliche. The fluttery feeling in my chest when I made him laugh, the tingly sensation in my skin where he touched it. I belonged in a teen romance movie.

It sounded too cheesy for me to bear, but Phil Lester felt like my soulmate.