Polaroid (A Phan AU)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.

~James E. Faust

Friday probably wasn't the best day for Christmas shopping, due to the crowds and long queues, but I needed to get stuff before the shelves were empty.

With just over ten days until Christmas, I was cutting it more than a little bit fine. At least I had good reason though.

With several bags in hand, I headed towards the bus stop. My arms felt just about ready to pop from my sockets, and I hadn't even been walking for five minutes yet.

My gaze was set on my hands as I fumbled with the straps, trying to get them in a more comfortable position.

It's kind of hard to watch where you're going when you're...not watching where you're going, if you know what I mean.

So I was surprised but not really surprised when my body collided head on with another. Thankfully, nobody fell, but it did mean human interaction, because now I had to apologise.

I raised my head to face the stranger and dread settled uncomfortably in my stomach is I realised that this wasn't a stranger at all.

"Lily! I'm sorry!"

"For what?" she snarled, "Knocking into me or eating my boyfriend's face outside a club?"

"Both," I said in a very small voice. She seemed angry beyond angry, and I have to admit I was a tiny bit terrified.

But then she sighed and bit her lip, regret replacing fury.

"Sorry, Phil, I shouldn't have snapped like that. I don't blame you, it's Dan. You have no idea how many times I asked him if something was going on, and each time he denied it. I just wish he'd told me how he felt."

She looked so sad now, so deflated. I pulled her into a spontaneous hug.

"He was drunk, Lily. I don't think it even meant anything to him."

I teared up myself at this statement, and I think Lily heard it in my voice.

"Don't be silly! Dan... Look, I know Dan, okay, and the light in his eyes when he looks at you... It's like when he used to look at me."

I pulled away; the hug was growing difficult, what with all the bags.

"So what are you saying?" I sniffed.

"I'm saying, go for it. Don't let me hold you back. Most of all, don't let you hold yourself back. With things like this, you need to throw yourself head first into the deep end, not stand shivering on the edge. Sure, you may find yourself struggling to keep afloat sometimes, but you'll always manage. And if there's a time you hit rock bottom, someone will always be there to pull you up to the surface. And you'll know that you took that fall, you jumped, and it'll make you feel better. Don't take advantage of this opportunity. Make the most of it, 'kay, Phil?"

I kind of just stood, open mouthed. Because truer words had never been spoken than by Lily Holmes.

"Wow," I choked out, grinning, "that was the best advice I've ever been given."

She mocked a bow, making us both giggle.

"I need to go. I'm meeting up with Jim. See you later - and good luck!"

"Thanks!" I called over my shoulder as she darted away; she was obviously running late.

But then, so was I. I had things to do.