Blaine, the scariest part about love isn’t love itself. It’s letting go and plunging into the unknown. It’s trusting someone with the very most sacred part of your heart. It’s allowing yourself to feel something foreign and uncharted, despite how much it terrifies the hell out of you.
~S. L. Jennings
What had he done to me? I was skipping school, curled up in his bed and eating his food. I was living, breathing, eating, Dan Howell.
Wait, no, I wasn't eating him. Or breathing him. Or living him.
You know what I mean.
It was terrifying. I was terrifying myself with these thoughts. I had never thought about another human in this way, creating all sorts of creepy fantasies about one of my closest friends.
I won't go into detail on the fantasies.
Everything about him was intoxicating. Like a drug. And, as cheesy as it sounds, I was inescapably addicted.
He really was beautiful, in every way possible.
In the way that he looked: his heart melting eyes and neat hair, lean figure and slender shape. There was something about both his perfect, choir boy image, and then first-thing-in-the-morning Dan that clashed brilliantly.
His laugh and his voice and even his adorable little sneezes; I would willingly download them as my ring-tone. And my alarm. And message notifier.
He was so kind and caring, yet sarcastic and bitchy. It was amazing how quickly he could be hugging you, and then making a snarky comment that would have you in stitches. He was intelligent, and funny, and trustworthy.
He was fatherly towards his sisters, sweet to his mother. He spoke poetically, he smiled adorably, and laughed contagiously.
He was Daniel Howell, and that in itself was something to be proud of.
I yearned for him: I wanted to be able to kiss him tenderly to wake him up, hum him a lullaby and cradle him in my arms to send him to sleep, wrap my arms around his waist while he made us breakfast, amongst other things...
I was in love with him, every little part of him. In just a matter of weeks he had me wrapped around his pinky finger, and I found myself realising; I would do anything for him. Sacrifice my soul, give up the world, throw myself to the wolves, for one person.
It was scary, and weird, but kind of amazing.
It was stupid, and petty, and pointless, but I couldn't help myself.
A/N
Sorry if this is short, or rushed, or disjointed, I'm having a weirdly amazing yet horrible day? Anyway, I'm finding it impossible to concentrate properly, so no double update today.
Also wanted to thank you soooooo much for 600 reads on this here phanfiction and 1000 reads on my poetry book 'a collection of broken thoughts' I love you all millions and billions I legit cried :')
Almost as much as I cried at Connor Franta's coming out video
He was so nervous that kind of makes me mad that people are nervous about themselves as humans because of the society we live in
Songs I listened to:
Just the rain and wind outside my window
Recommended:
Write About Us by @rubz1245
Ruby is an amazing writer, and even if it's short, this little story is just perfection rly. It might trigger you a little, I guess? It didn't trigger me at all, but some people are much more sensitive to what triggers them.
Chasing Dreams by @HedgehogLover29
Sly little creep thought she could hide her stories from me but I KNOW EVERYTHING just don't ask me math questions I don't know math at all
This only has one chapter but so far it's amazing I'm hooked. It's about dancing and belief and udghsskdnekfb sorry
~Georgina <3
Find me:
Twitter: ThisIsGeorgieXo
Tumblr: sugarcanellamas
Instagram: assemblingphilosophies
Collab acc: KnivesAndPens_xo
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Polaroid (A Phan AU)
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