Polaroid (A Phan AU)

Chapter Three

Sexuality shouldn't define anyone. It doesn't define me. Love should be at the core of what you do.
~Jessie J

Wind whistled through the trees outside the window, knocking them against the glass relentlessly. Chris and I were on our way to our form room, the only lesson we shared together. He was in second set for most subjects, whereas I was in first, and we chose different GCSE options. Despite the fact that lessons were vaguely lonely without him, I was glad that we were apart most of the time. He was just one rubber throwing, Shakespeare quoting distraction, and my education meant a great deal to me.

We were discussing my family situation, and Chris was immensely interested in the fact that my sister was undergoing a rebellious streak. He'd always been vaguely obsessed with her.

"So she took your mum's money? To dye her hair?" Chris repeated.

"Borrowed," I corrected, 'she borrowed my mum's money."

"Wow," he breathed, "I wouldn't have the guts to steal- sorry, borrow- money from my parents."

We were fast approaching our form room now, the crowds of the hallways petering out into their respective classrooms. As we opened the door, being about a minute late, all heads in the room turned to us. The teacher, Miss Jackson, shook her head reproachfully while we scrambled to our seats.

After Miss Jackson had called out our names for the register, we were allowed to fall into quiet conversation with the people around us, and Chris turned to me expectantly.

"So, about Cassie... Does she have a boyfriend?"

I glanced up in surprise at Chris's blushing face.

"No... No, I don't think so. Why? You don't have a crush on her, do you? Chris? You've never even met her!"

Chris muttered something under his breath that I didn't quite catch. He began hastily packing his stuff away into his bag, ignoring me entirely.

"Chris?" I coaxed tentatively, "Hey, I didn't mean to offend you! I was just surprised! I can't really say much, dude. I mean, I don't have any experience when it comes to people of the female gender."

I saw the way Chris's shoulders visibly relaxed when I explained myself, and he spoke up again in a quiet, mumbling voice.

"Well, I guess. But... You've never had a girlfriend?"

Oh no. Awkward awkward awkward. Speak! Salvage the situation! I blurted out the first thing that came to me.

"Well, girls aren't really my thing!"

Chris raised his eyebrows at me and all of the heat rushed up to my face as I realised what I had said. The bell sounded out, vibrating and echoing through the walls and upon hearing the sound, I dragged my bag onto my back and ran from the classroom before we were dismissed.

I spent the remainder of my first two lessons worrying obsessively. I had basically confessed my sexuality to Chris Kendall, in the middle of a classroom. I would have been able to play it off, had I not ran away in my embarrassment.

I'd had my suspicions for a while now, about being... Gay? Homosexual? Well whatever, I preferred people of my own gender than people of the opposite. In my fourteen years, I had had crushes on two boys. Josh Benson, in year five, and Patrick McCall, in year seven. Never had I experienced non platonic feelings for any girls.

I'd never admit it to anyone - what fourteen year old would? I wasn't even comfortable confronting my sexuality to myself, let alone having others confront it.

I needn't have been anxious about the while situation anyway, because my journey home with Chris was devoid of any boy talk, until we were parting ways.

Chris came to a stop next to his gate and turned to me to say goodbye.

"About earlier..." Chris began, making my heart sink into my stomach, "If you meant what I think you meant, then that's cool. Nothing to be ashamed of. And if you didn't, whatever. See you tomorrow."

He turned on his heel, sprinted up his path, and was gone, leaving me standing shell shocked outside his gate.

A/N

It may be short and crap, but it's on time!
I'm so tired, we're doing a production of grease in my school, and rehearsals are relentless atm. So excuse my lack of energy in my writing.
Also, I've seen a few authors do the whole quote at the start of a chapter thing and I really liked that, so yeah, that's what's happening.
If you're interested, songs I listened to while writing this were:
Iridescent by Linkin Park
The Forgotten by Green Day
The Man by Ed Sheeran
I Write Sins Not Tragedies by P!ATD
Bones by Lewis Watson
Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran
Fear The Future by Emma Blackery
Loss Of Control by Green Day

:3:3

Love youuu

~Georgina

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