~ 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 ~ 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚓𝚘𝚜𝚑 𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜

"letting go"

september 18th

i wake up to the sound of one of my favorite songs playing.. "my last made me feel like i would never-"

me: -try again, but when i saw you i felt something i never felt. come closer-

i quietly sing along and i finally open my eyes. i see all the girls are gone from where we slept (in the fort). i get up and look at myself in the mirror.....holy shit that's a sight to see. anyways, i walk into the kitchen and see everyone in the kitchen making breakfast.

charlie: and she finally wakes up...at noon.

my eyes open wide.

me: noon?!!! oh my god is it really?
avani: you were sleeping so peacefully, we didn't wanna wake you.
me: awhh, well thanks for letting me sleep.

we all start dancing to the music playing, just having a good time. and eating food of course. i see my phone light up on the counter and i realize someone is calling me. i felt my heart break a little when i see josh's name on my screen. i hesitate to answer, but decide to pick up. i motion for them to turn down the music.

me: hey, josh.
josh: hey beautiful, so i have a question.
me: yes?
josh: will you go on a date with me?

i felt butterflies in my stomach. i froze and didn't know what to say. we've basically been on a date before, but he's never asked me officially like that yet. i'm deciding to give it a chance and go with him...

me: i would love to *in a sweet tone*
josh: great kate, ill be there at 7 to pick you up.
me: okay, sounds good.
josh: perfect, bye kate.
me: see you later, bye.

i hung up and put my phone on the counter. i look up at allissa to see her dancing around smiling.

me: you heard didn't you?

she stops and looks at me.

allissa: MY BESTFRIENDS GETTING LAID TONIGHTTT
charlie: OOOOOOOO GIRL *starts doing renegade dance*
avani: lessss gooooo

charlie almost punches avani in the face by accident.

avani: bitch imma renegade you in the face!

we all bust out laughing. then i roll my eyes at allissa..

allissa: uh huhhh*smirks*
me: allissa no.
allissa: i'm just jokingggg
me: good because we've known each other for two weeks now and it's too soon for that and i don't know what's going to happen tonight honestly. i feel bad because i lead him on and now i feel like i'm pushing away.

avani and charlie start dancing to music again and allissa and i continue to have a conversation.

allissa: you need to let go and stop being so up tight. live a little. not everyone is like jake.
me: i know, and you're right..

i look down at my feet.

allissa: you know, it's crazy when you really think about it..
me: what?
allissa: we're only seventeen, about to be 18. living in new york by ourselves in this big city, living our dreams. we're soooo lucky. you need to stop worrying so much and let loose.
me: you're absolutely right.
allissa: i know you met josh for a reason...so take my advice.

we finish our conversation and she goes on her phone. she starts smiling.

me: you texting markkkk *nudges her*
allissa: shhh

allissa and mark have kept it a secret that they are basically a thing except from me and josh. they don't want people to be in their business or go public yet, since both their social medias are growing. i wish sometimes i was chill like allissa and didn't worry so much. because when i loosen up and live in the moment, good things seem to happen...josh for example. when we met i instantly allowed myself to fall for him and then he made a move and i went for it too. i felt happy. i think this is why allissa and i are so close. we balance out...i help her make smart choices and she helps me loosen up.

all of us girls hang out for the rest of the day, going to the mall and getting coffee. it was so much fun. at 5:30, i decide to call an uber and leave so i can go back home to get ready for tonight.

*after getting ready*

i step over to my floor mirror to check and make sure i like my outfit.

i wore this with black doc martins. my hair was wavy and down.

i looked at myself in the mirror and was already feeling myself get nervous for tonight. i shouldn't even be nervous though..we've hung out alone many times now. i was trying to remember what allissa said, to just live in the moment and go with the flow. my phone dings...

_____________________
text messages:

josh: i'm here 💕 come down whenever your ready :)
_____________________

seeing his text on my screen made me smile.

_____________________
text messages:

josh: i'm here 💕 come down whenever you're ready :)

me: i'm coming down, be there in a few:)
_____________________

here we go...