Just go with it | Falice fanfiction

Chapter four

FP had left the beach and went to work. He decided to get some advice from Alice about the whole thing, since she was the only one who knew every single detail about his life.

"I told you that this whole fake marriage thing was going to come and bite you in the ass." She states once he explains what happened.

"Why don't you just tell her the truth?" Alice questions putting on her laboratory coat.

"You really think I can tell her the truth? Okay, uh- let me practice, you be her." He says getting up from the couch and walking towards her.

"Oh good, okay hold on." She cracks a smile.

She flips her hair from side to side, trying to imitate what kind of girl she thought FP went for. A stuck up, idiotic bitch with a beautiful figure who believed every lie FP told them.

"She's not like that but anyways..." he responds.

"Umm... I-I wear this fake wedding ring sometimes.."

"You're a pig." She states when she sees him struggling.

He lets out a sigh of defeat before grabbing his coffee and going to sit back down on the couch.

"Sorry, you're a pig!" She giggles.

"Hey, what's wrong you're walking weird." She asks genuinely concerned.

"I slept on the beach last night Al, my back is killing me." He states the obvious earning an eye roll.

"When are you going to strengthen your spine? Seriously FP. You gotta work out more than once a month." She tells him handing him an ice pack for his back.

He smiles at her always knowing his every need.

"My mother always said Cary Grant never went to the gym. Only took the stairs, never an elevator." She fixes up the magazines on the table.

"Wanna hear my impression of Cary Grants's butler?" He asks and she chuckles with a nod.

"Watch watch, hello? No, he's dead... okay bye bye." He imitates.

"That's good. That's funny." She says sarcastically.

"Mom, give me some money!" Charles states swinging the office door open.

"Well hello to you too." Alice replies with wide eyes.

"Please say hello to doctor Jones kids." She tells them and FP smiles.

"Ello Dr. FP, How is you today?" Betty asks in an English accent.

"Is that the queen of England or something? Why is she talking like that?" He asks causing Alice to chuckle.

"She's been working on some accents." She replies with a grin.

"I am taking an acting class this summer, i is! Gonna be the next Miley Cyrus, I am." She states in her English accent proudly.

"How about you little Charlie? Do you like Hannah Montana?" FP asks Charles who seems to be lost in thought.

"No... I like californication." He states boringly.

"When do you ever watch that show!?" Alice asks in a motherly tone.

"Penelope lets us watch it when she calls her... well she calls them clients." Her daughter responds and Alice sighs.

They all look over at Penelope, the kids babysitter who seems to be caught up in a video game on her phone.

"Seems to me like you run a tight ship at home, mama bear." FP says causing Alice to give him a playful glare.

"Dr. Jones, I have a question." Charles says coming over to sit next to him in the couch.

"Shoot."

"Will you take me to Hawaii so I can swim with the dolphins?" He asks pleadingly.

"Take you to Hawaii? No." FP states almost like it's obvious.

"But my mom says you're rich."

"Charles!!" Alice says telling him to stop.

"No, it's fine." FP says waving a hand at Alice so she understood that it truly was fine. "Maybe you should make your own money?"

"That's not something I really want to do." Charles states with a shake of his head.

"Well then son, I don't think I can help ya." FP responds giving his hair a ruffle.

"Okay here is the money, I want change. And I want to hear that you actually ate the food Elizabeth." Alice states handing over a twenty dollar bill to her daughter who rolls her eyes.

"Mom, before we go can I make a Hermie?" Her son asks.

"Sure, down the hall. Can you go with him please Elizabeth? We open in 10 minutes and I don't want him to be in there all day." Her mother asks and Betty nods following her little bother to the washroom.

"He said I gotta make a hermie, what does that mean?" FP confusingly asks.

"Uhh.. just a friend of mine who was in my sorority in college named Hermione Luna, but everyone called her Hermie. And well, I wouldn't say friend I would say more like my nemesis." Alice explains while rummaging through her purse.

"Oh I see, so she was a frenemy." FP states getting up off of the couch and walking towards her.

"Yes! You'd probably like her, she's really really fake. Always had to have the coolest clothes, the hottest boys and you know." Alice sits down and wipes the dirt off of her glasses before putting them back on.

"Ah, she bothers you." FP grins.

"A lot." Alice admits.

"So one night, I was just having a glass of wine..."

"A bottle." FP interrupts knowing her all to well.

"Okay, a bottle. And I just got so tired of the kids saying things like, I need to take a dump, or I need to take a crap. So I-I just told them it was called making a Hermie... they liked it and it stuck." Alice shyly explains.

"I always call it making a black pickle."

"Making a what?!" Alice exclaims.

"I'm kidding, I don't say that..." FP takes it back seeing the shocked expression on her face.

"What are we going to do about my love life though?" FP asks and Alice lets out a groan.

"FP, I would feel terrible for you if I had any investment in you successfully banging twenty three year olds." Alice lets out in an annoyed tone.

"Holy Hermie you're not listening to me!" She lets out a giggle as he's using Hermie instead of shit.

"This is not some bull-Hermie fling. I mean, I'm serious this is the real Hermie. I could... I mean I swear to god I could see myself ending up with this girl." FP goes on and Alice cocks her head to the side, trying to find a lie, but she doesn't.

"Wow.. you're right you can't tell her the truth." Alice tells him with a hand on her hip.

"HIGH SCORE!!" Penelope screams and the two adults jump.

"Well I'm glad someone's doing good." FP states putting his hands in his pockets.

"You know what? You don't want to get serious, because when you get serious that leads to marriage and then, marriage leads to divorce and divorce is just... I mean look at these poor kids! Their dad was suppose to pick them up today." Alice tells him with an annoyed expression.

"He was a no-show?" FP frowns.

"Again!" Alice sighs throwing her hands up in the air. "But you know what? Atleast I got my head together and divorced him."

"Yeah, yeah." FP nods.

She suddenly turns back around from the files and faces him. "Wait a minute, I know what you can do."