Elements of Fire

16. Past and Present

Karna tried to suppress a terrible urge to destroy all that came in his way. He had invited the storm but it seemed as though he was its lone victim. He heard a distant ringing of anklets accompanied by clanking of bangles. He widened his steps.

He slammed the doors behind him. They creaked open after some time accompanied again by the ringing of anklets and clanking of bangles.

"Angraj"

"Panchali please leave me alone now"

His voice though soft was like whip lash.

"Angraj Karna"

She was now facing him although he wouldn't look at her and turned his face sideways.

"Don't call me that Draupadi."

"Um... then... um... Radheyi Karna"

His features softened slightly at the endearment. Encouraged by his reaction she continued.

"Radheyi Karna our past is affecting our present so- "

"You think I am not aware of that. Our relationship has not even a particle of semblance to a marital relationship. I cannot even talk to you unless necessary. No matter what I try there is always this cold wall between us. Sometimes I wonder if you are even my wife!"

She stared at him her eyes wide open in shock. It wasn't as if she hadn't expected the outburst but something about it hurt. Karna was heaving. He shot up a glance at her before looking away again.

"You think I am not committed to you?" she asked her voice cold.

"What would make one answer in the positive?" he replied.

She took a step back. She was seething with rage. Had she not broken all ties with her former family and come away here without complaining? She hadn't even asked to see her sons and father and siblings after coming to Anga.

"Angraj you have no right to say that. I have not complained after coming here. I have agreed to whatever you said. I did whatever you asked me to do as best I could. You cannot level that allegation against me."

"I never said you are not my Queen. You are a wonderful Queen. But you never made any effort to be my wife. I tried to be your husband but you didn't make the effort..."

A long silence drowned the chamber. Draupadi knew what he was saying was right to an extent. She hadn't really given him any attention as expected of a wife. But she was not one to take any insult lying down.

"I am Yagnaseni. You can't insult me like this."

She tried to sound strong but her voice faltered slightly.

"I didn't think someone known for her intellect would view a truth as an insult Yagnaseni. This is only arrogance."

"But...but.."she began.

Karna stood up and reached for her hand.

"But what Draupadi?"

"But you aren't completely blameless either."

She looked up straight into his eyes. His grip around her wrist tightened.