Memories

The lonely life/ independent life

Hey, it's me, I'm back to tell more stories of...me.

After I graduated school, I started working at a restaurant called "la hacienda".
This restaurant was a Mexican buffet, and you could also order from a menu if you'd like. The job wasn't so bad, the only thing that made it stressful was that the restaurant I was also partnered with a bus company.

Many people who would come from Mexico would use those buses, and stop at the restaurant. The treatment was horrible from staff to customers.

The manager was such an asshole!
I'm sorry but she did not treat the "paisanos" with dignity. It's as if she saw them below her, as if she was better than them.

Maybe she felt that way of herself, because she was very buddy-buddy with the wife of the owner of the restaurant. The wife was also half the owner, so she would come here and there to check on how things were going.

The manager would just spend her time talking with the owner, and they would just talk about random stuff that wasn't ever work related, and that really pissed me off. How come this kind of nepotism is happening here!?

Not only was that manager very good friends with the wife, but also the second manager/ waitress, and the other 3 waitresses were also very close to the wife as well.... the crazy thing is, that the third waitress was a girl that was hired at the same time as me. That girl happens to be the daughter of a friend of the second manager/ waitress, thus making her more likable, and easier to get close to everyone else because of her ties with the manager.

What I'm trying to say, is that we both were given 3 months to prove we could work there, so we did the 3 months, we both committed errors like anyone else would, but we got the job done.

I wasn't a bad waitress, but I wasn't excellent either. Neither was she, but because I didn't talk much with them, and I was basically a loner, and didn't really get along with the managers; the manager decided to not continue to keep me as a waitress there.... supposedly because I wasn't what they were looking for, but I think it's because they just didn't like that I didn't talk and I always had kind of an attitude. I just didn't like how they treated me and the customers, so I was always mad, and irritated all the time.

I felt really sad and isolated, and like I didn't belong, so I just didn't have a good attitude.

I was basically fired, and I was so happy about that. You have no idea how much I wanted to quit that sucky job.

So I leave, and I'm feeling relived! I felt like a huge boulder was lifted off my shoulders.
After that, I didn't even wanna walk close by the restaurant, I just hated it that much...

After about 3 or 4 months, I get hired again in another restaurant that's 30 minutes walking distance. The restaurant was called "Danny's" And I got the night shift as a waitress there.

I actually liked it because of the people, and I was getting the hang of the night life, so I liked it a lot. When you work late at night at a restaurant, you see some crazy stuff there!
Like, i always kinda dreaded going cuz of the amount of people that go during 3am or 2am already drunk and stuff, but it was also fascinating seeing that. So many stuff and cool people would go and talk to me, so it wasn't that bad. The managers thooooooo OH MY GOD, like why are the managers always so freaking rudeeeeee.

I had two managers for the night shift, and they were just the worst of the worst. Those two would make fun of customers behind their backs!!

There was this one time, where a customer who couldn't speak correctly was ordering, and the manager was there close to his table just being a managers. After the waitress leaves to ring up the order, the manager goes to the back, and starts to make fun of the guy, he was imitating the customers way of speech, and just laughing.
I was utterly disgusted and really sad, because the poor customer had no idea what was going on! He was just happy to get some food, not expecting the manager or anyone to make fun of him that night.

The managers would always do that, they wound see someone who was gay or disabled, and they would always have something to say about them.

Not only did they talk about the customers and make fun of them, but also about the waitress, and everyone who worked there, basically.

I was always made fun of, I wasn't treated with respect, and I was made fun of because I would go to church and stuff.

I hated it, but also liked my job. The other waitresses made the job bearable for me, and that gave me motivation to stay there longer.

2018 was a very difficult year for me, honestly.
I had to start living alone, trying to find out what I wanted with my life. I had no idea what i was supposed to be doing anymore, and it caused me to isolate myself, and just be In my own little bubble, and live for myself only.

I had my own bills to pay, I had a job, my own living space (with a roommate or a host family you could say), basically I was being independent for the first time. I've always been independent but this time it was "independent- independent". You get me ?

I felt free but also trapped at the same time, and I was just so confused about myself and who I even was at that time.

I started to love being alone, but also craved human interactions. I was very conflicted in what I really wanted at that time, but the thing that I saw, that was what I would probably end up as; was being alone. That was something that felt correct, and necessary at the moment.

Not gonna lie, 2018 wasn't sad, and lonely 24/7.

I had time to spend with my friends, and family here and there. I had some good moments, some really happy and exciting moments, and I'm thankful for them.

Almost ending 2018, that's when things started to come together for me. My life all of a sudden found its purpose, and I felt like I finally got to see what my purpose was this whole dang time!

I was just blind or too stubborn to want to accept it as my true purpose on life. You could say I was also very scared to accept it.

When I finally accepted my destiny, I felt happy.

I left family and friends behind, and it didn't hurt me. That's how ready I was to change my life, I was ready to leave it all for this next part of my life that I always had offered to me since, i dont know, perhaps.... since forever.

I arrived to Canada, and I felt like the missing puzzle piece was found, and I was able to complete the puzzle, and put it all together.

My life felt put together.

I was complete.

I'm still here, in Canada... it's been, what? Eleven months already.

I'm pretty happy where I am, and how my life has turned out, and I'm very excited to see what else is in store for me.... cheesy, i know.

But yeah my dudes, that's the end of my after graduation life. Now it's time for this chapter that I'm currently still living.... the Canadian chapter is one where I'm not gonna post until, I don't know when. I have to really be careful and plan that chapter really well. But the next chapter for sure will be about another crush I had, and then another incident with another dude, and then, finally it should be the Canada chapter....
I'll see, I'll let y'all know.

See ya 😘