Trigger Warning: Mention of death.
Brave
Nang umalis din naman si Glen, I texted Aki so we could talk about it. Kaya noong may magdoorbell ilang minuto ang nakalipas, alam kong siya iyon.
Binuksan ko iyon. Wearing a plain white shirt while the other shoulder was purposely falling on the side, paired with jeans, she smiled at me. Nakabagsak lamang ang buhok niya at mukhang galing pa ata sa gig.
"Nasabi ni Glen na..." panimula ko nang isinara na ang pinto pagkapasok niya.
She glanced at me. "I'm sorry. Medyo busy rin kasi sa school kaya... medyo loaded na ang sched ko."
Umiling agad ako habang naglalakad kaming dalawa sa balcony kung saan ako nagset-up ng pwede naming gawin habang nag-uusap. Umupo kaming dalawa.
"I'm sorry if... I'm too busy to, uh..." panimula ko.
Agaran siyang umiling. "Ayos lang. Besides, I have my gig and another work."
She's my responsibility because I pulled her in. At hindi ko man lang siya nakakamusta.
"Ang sabi ni Glen, pwede ka raw sumali sa malalaking events. Like this coming Christmas. Kasi malaki rin ang kita pag ganoong okasyon. Kasali na lahat kahit mga secondary models no'n. Ayos lang daw kahit hindi kana magtrabaho sa Bar."
She nodded. "Pwede rin..."
We looked at the sky silently. Ilang sigundong katahimikan ang namayani.
"Madalas ka bang mag-isa dito?" tanong niya at kinuha ang wine glass.
Tumango ako. "Pero minsan bumibisita naman si Glen at si..."
"Si Caden?" para bang may ideya siya.
Tumango ako at medyo ngumiti. I looked at her curiously. Sumimsim siya sa wine glass. Kung hindi ko lang nalaman kay Crius ang tungkol sa kanya, hindi ako mas lalong magiging mailap. I don't want her to start a deep friendship with me coz I know it will only hurt her.
"Do you want to come with me tomorrow?" she asked in a hopeful voice.
My shoulder loosened. Hindi ko alam kung ba't... nalulungkot ako. Kung tama bang sa lahat ng kakaibiganin niya, ako pa.
She doesn't know how my mind works or how I don't romanticize my life. If death knocks on the door right now, I'll willingly step out.
I've lost the passion to live. It was the reason why I hate making memories, making friends, and molding myself because I know that once I find the justice of my parents, I am willing to go.
"I don't know how to socialize. I might bore you," I said halfheartedly.
"I met someone who's very good at socializing. She offered to become my best friend. Ipapakilala kita sa kanya."
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman sa sinabi niya. But because it was so welcoming and she radiates calmness, nahanap ko nalang ang sarili ko sa isang restaurant sa Ayala. Nakaupo kaming dalawa ni Aki habang may hinihintay.
Ako:
I went out.
Iyon ang reply ko sa huling text ni Caden na hindi ko na masyadong sinabi kung ano.
Caden:
Tell me once it's done. I'll fetch you.
Ako:
Okay.
"Aki!" I heard a cheerful voice from someone.
Umangat ang ulo ko. For the first time, I feel like the angel started singing while a string of lights in heaven kissed the woman who was walking toward us with a pretty smile.
