Touch Me, Don't Love Me // styles

f i f t y - e i g h t

*Also unedited. Will edit both chapters tomorrow*

I sat myself down on the couch near the window and pulled the curtain aside. I listened as Harry made some movements in the kitchen. Moments later, he's back with a mug that he placed on the coffee table beside me. 

"Hot chocolate." He made his way on the stool across the couch I was sitting on. "I know it's cold, but don't you want to take your sweater off? I'll turn up the heater." 

"No. I'm okay." I looked him in the eyes, but it didn't last long. I lifted the mug of hot chocolate and took a sip. 

"You want some whip cream with that?" 

"No." I took another sip then I placed it back on the table. I could feel both the awkwardness and intensity vibrating in the room. I tried to trail my eyes anywhere but Harry's lips. Instead, I stared at his fingers intertwined together on his lap. I should start explaining why I'm here, but first, I have to know what he's been up to. I have to know if he's not seeing anyone else right now.

"It's been a month..." I started. But I didn't know what to say next. I wanted to say that it's been a month since we've seen each other, but what I really mean is that it's been a month since we've held each other, kissed, touched, cuddled, laughed together, and said I love you to one another. It's been a month and I've missed him terribly. 

But what if it's not that long for him? What if a month isn't enough for him to miss me? What if somebody's been keeping him occupied and distracted from thinking about me?

"I know..." He surprised me by responding. "Does mom know you're here?" He asked. I answered by slowly shaking my head.

"How did you find me?" His voice was becoming low and raspy. Why does he seem upset that I've found him? I was wrong to think that he'd welcome me in his arms the moment he opens his door for me.

"I... I asked mom for your address. I rode a bus to get out of town and... from there I... I just asked around for directions..." I just stared at me, then slowly nodded. "Are you mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" His tone suddenly changed and he stood up from his seat.

"You... you don't seem happy that I'm here." I was expecting him to be happy surprised, not like this.

"Because you... being here... defies the reason I moved here in the first place." He said firmly. He looked at me while pursig his lips for a good two seconds before pushing through the door infront of him. I couldn't help it right then, tears started falling, and then I was sobbing, trying to cover my mouth as much as possible for Harry not to hear.

What, is he gonna leave me here till I get on my feet and go? 

I brought myself to stop crying when I heard something from inside the room Harry disappeared into. It was like he was moving something, pushing a desk or something like that. I decided to take a look, and with that to also say goodbye cause I couldn't stand it here anymore, I couldn't stand him ignoring me like this. I sudden;y felt like how I did the first few days he left, like I was dying.

I stood up and grabbed my stuff. I walked towards the room and sneaked in the open door. He was crouching to an opened closet. I was like he was moving boxes around. I could also see some clothes and other stuff he was taking in and out of the boxes.

"Harry..." His head shot up to my direction. He eyes me, noticing that I was ready to go. 

"Where are you going?" I was surprised by his question. It was somewhat relieving to hear. 

"I think I... I'm going to go now." I looked at my watch and motioned to the door. But before I could reach for the knob, he spoke up.

"Why did you come here?" I turned around and he was already out of the room and infront of me. His brows were furrowed together and his eyes were curious.