This is the second book to A Flair For The Dramatic!
So there will be a recap and then it's starting where we left off in that book so yeeeee if you read the recap you dont really need to read the first book lol
SPOILERS FOR AFFTH (kinda)
so this...
A week ago I turned 20 and I feel so much better about everything now. I'm not a teenager anymore and I've been trying really hard to be myself and not feel bad about it.
I've been bullied all through high school and messed with online but I think I'm getting better blocking it all out. My I have nightmares randomly, still have suicide thoughts, beat myself up over embarrassing situations I've been in but I don't cut anymore.
I'm not cured but I'm healing. To prove it I'm going to wear short sleeves for the first time without a jacket or something covering my selfharm scars. Only Oli, vic, and Tyler know I cut.
I've made friends with everybody who lives here. Matty got kicked out because he kept harassing people here. Oli is 28 and I still find the age gap incredibly sexy but there are some things that foat around in my head like; does oli want a family? Does he want a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend so he can have a baby?
Does he like boobs? I dont have boobs. Am I good enough? Would he ever want to marry me? Am I ready for marriage? I've only had one boyfriend before him. He's had- well.. he's only had two boyfriends before me.
He did tell me him and Austin fooled around a bit before josh and whenever josh broke up with him. He also has fucked a few girls when he was black out drunk and he doesn't even remember who they were. Anyways, he's more experienced than me in everything and I dont know how to feel about that.
It doesn't matter, I know he loves me. I look in my mirror looking at myself and my bear arms.
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I've been getting some tattoos but I dont have to many yet. Well, is there a too much? Oli looks fucking sexy with all his.
I push back my fears and leave my room. Oli should be downstairs around now. When I go downstairs Gerard is the first person I see and at the moment the only. I can hear people in the kitchen.
I go to gerard and he smiles at me. "What's up my dude," he says. I smile back.
"My anxiety," I then make a awkward chuckle. He smiles and nods.
"Same, but why?" he asks. He hasn't looked at my arms yet.
"Mmm, no reason. I'm going to find Oli," I say and he nods and looks a the kitchen. I go to the kitchen and Oli is sitting on the counter talking to Tyler and josh. Tyler looks at me first and since he knows I have scars his eyes flicker to my exposed arms.
It's only a second and his smile only gets brighter. Josh stays oblivious but Oli looks at me shirt surprised. "Come here," he says and I stand in between his legs and he cups my face.
"You're so beautiful," he praises me with a smile. I blush- yes after three years of knowing him I still blush over everything. He makes me feel so special and amazing.
He kisses my forehead and Josh and Tyler start taking to each other. "I love you," he whispers in my ear. Not because he's embarrassed of me. He whispers it because I'm the only one who matters.
I smile and kiss his cheek. "I'm in love with you," I respond. I love you too seems like I'm just saying it because he said it.
"Good, I'm taking you on a date. Are you ready?" He asks.
-
We sit down at a booth and I smile. I love going out on dates with Oli. He puts his hands out palms up on the table. I put my hands in his like normal and he squeezes lightly. He looks at my wrists and then into my eyes.
"I'm proud of you.. like, I know I say stuff like this a lot but I really mean it. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I understand theres a lot to you I dont know and will never fully understand but I love everything about you. We both have messed up stuff happen to us but that's something that helps up stay together. You know you cant tell me everything bad that's happened to you but it's okay because you know theres stuff I cant Express or explain.." he pauses looking sad.
"Like.. Mitch.. theres so much you dont know and I cant bring myself to talk about it.. but I know that you had a few tragic things happen in the past. If you ever do want to talk about it I'm here. I'll always be here for you," he tells me and I want to cry. Well, tears are already starting to brim to my eyes.
I smile and look away as tears fall. "Oh, no. Baby, dont cry," he says rubbing the backs of my hands with his thumbs.
"S-sorry. God, your just so amazing," I say and look at him.
"I really love you and," I let out a sound that sounds like 'hhhhh' for a second before that's how he makes me feel. Theres no words for it. He smiles at me and I love how he looks at me. "Thank you for being here with me, for taking me out, loving me, everything. I'm happy you are mine.
I'm so happy right now but I wasn't expecting what happened next to happen.. Not today at least..
