Stay Away From My Friends

chapter 43: frustration

Kellin's pov

It's been a full week and it been good. The first few days I just stayed in my bed with Oli. Last few days we've been going on simple but amazing dates. I may still have a limp..

And yeah, everyone here has pointed it out. I'm a bit more comfortable with the everyone but I've had no real remembering dreams. Only little one of irrelevant things like getting dressed for school. I've had snippets of conversations but they are fuzzy and I don't even know the meaning behind them.

I'm frustrated. I just want to remember something important. Who I am.

Oli tried to tell me about the sensitive topic again but he didn't get it out. As I think about him he enters my room with a sulking attitude. He gets in my bed with me and looks at me for a moment.

"So my ex- well.. not my ex. We never broke up-" I frown but he holds out his hand so I don't interrupt him. Is he cheating on me?

"Mitch, my past boyfriend was.. my first love. I really do love him. He wasn't my soulmate, you are, but.. he means so much to me," he starts explaining looking at his hands.

He loves his ex who he apparently is still dating. My heart is being ripped to shreds and I try to get up and run away but he grabs me wrist and- HANDCUFFS me to him!?

Tears start to fall and he gives me a sad hollow look. "Stop and listen to the w-whole thing. This is why I keep crying and acting like a baby," he says his eyes watering.

I nod a little because I love him and there must be a good explanation.. hopefully. I swallow hard and wait for him to talk more.

"I was going to propose to him.. but.. he.." Oli keeps pausing to sniff and wipe his eyes. This topic is really upsetting to him.

"I r-really cared about him b-but he- he crashed. He died. So.. yeah, that's why I love that dog. That's why I'm depressed.. that's W-why I have attachment issues," he says and I hug him.

I'm so stupid for thinking he was cheating on me. "I'm sorry, um.. do you want to talk about him or should I switch the topic?" I ask.

Before he answers an image of Mitch pops up. Like, I know what he looks like. I'm remembering!  Imagines of Oli telling me about Mitch last time flood my mind and when I looked through that draw.

I gasp and Oli looks at me worried. "I- I remember you telling me about him before, and, like, how he looks? He's a tall tattooed guy? And, I remember the drawer," I explained and he gives me a soft smile.

"He was amazing, but how about I take you out?" He says and I get a different idea.

"How about we go to the hot tub?" I ask. He smiles.

"You literally hate the swimming pool or hot tub. All this time we lived here you've never wanted to," he says and I pout. In middle school Danny tried to drown me in a pool. I reay do hate pools but Danny is in jail.

"Maybe the coma changed me, let's go," I say grabbing his arm and making him come with me. When we go downstairs I look at the guys playing mincraft. That seems.. fimmiler.

I then drag Oli outside into the fall like weather and turn on the hot tub. "You're so adorable," he says watching me. I blush and look at myself through his view.

I'm wearing only a hoodie and briefs with messy bed hair. My face is tented red and everything around us is a autumn pretty color and feel. It's not hot but it's not exactly cold.

I step on a crunchy leaf and pout. "I forgot about swim trunks," I say and he smiles.

"Oooh nooo," he says sarcastically and takes off his shirt. I blush more and watch him strip. He stops at his underwear and then approaches me. I feel shy and nervous but also happy and tired on.

Oli is way to hot not to think about sexual.. He kisses my forehead and then lifts up my jacket and pulls it over my head and off of me.

Now without my clothes I feel exposed and cold-ish. I'm not shivering or anything but it's a bit brisk. He then kisses me so I kiss back. Unexpectedly he shoves my underwear down and I gasp. He chuckles and takes his off.

"Skinny dipping? People are inside," I squeak out. Me makes me step out of my underwear and we get in the hot steamy water.

"Yup," he says and we sit sit by side. For a moment we dont talk. We just watch the pretty scenery and think about stuff.

I cant remember a lot but I know I love him. I know we had/have an amazing relationship. I understand we are most likely soulmates. Like, how could we not? These past 2 weeks have been the best in my life and apparently these days are similar to the ones we had for the whole two years I've forgotten about.

Oliver is definitely way more attractive than Andy, Physically and Mentally. He's seriously a genuinely good guy and he's had hard times but I'm going to stay positive so he doesn't have to deal with a guy who hurts himself or hates himself.

Oliver really loves me and if he loves me then I must be worthy of love. I love everything Oli loves so that must include me. I'm happy I can be in his arms at night and chase away his demons. 

I turn to him and kiss his cheek before leaning my head on his shoulder. He leans his head on mine and we stay in a happy silence.

Thoughts?

Feels?