Broken Lantern

Chapter Sixteen

By the time we get to the hospital, my contractions are coming closer and closer and getting more intense. I'm huffing and puffing, doing my very best breathing, but the pain is almost unbearable. Kevin's face is dark with concern, as he swoops me up in his arms, carrying me through the glass double doors.

"I need someone over here, now please!" He calls out to the empty nurse's station. "Hello?!"

A dark-haired lady comes out of the room behind the desk, a look of annoyance on her face. When she sees us, her expression changes and she's around the desk in a second getting a wheelchair. Kevin sits me in the chair and the nurse wheels me toward the elevators. My parents come running through the door just in time to see us go into the elevator and then the doors close.

She takes us up to labor and delivery, bringing me around to another nurse's station to sign me in. Kevin gives them the information that they need, and I'm wheeled into a room.

My mom comes in the door right behind us, out of breath and red faced. "Did you just run all the way up here?" Kev asks her. She bends down and rests on her knees for a second, holding her finger up to tell him to wait just a minute. "I... ran... up... the stairs."

She waits another minute and finishes, "Your dad and Robby are coming up the elevator, I couldn't wait." She walks over to the other side of the room and sits down in a chair while the nurse helps me onto the bed and starts hooking me up to monitors.

Kevin stands at the foot of the bed, watching and waiting for the nurse to leave so he can crawl into the bed beside me. As soon as she leaves, he does just that, letting me lean into him. I'm so happy when they bring the epidural into the room and check me again telling me it's almost time to push; a few more minutes and my doctor will be here to take over.

I'm nervous about pushing her out. I can't quite wrap my head around the thought of pushing a baby the size of a watermelon through my tiny little body and it's kind of freaking me out. As it gets closer and closer to time, I get more and more scared and start to cry into Kevin's shoulder. My mom and Elaine are here in the room with us and they're instantly by my side, comforting me, wiping the hair back from my sweaty forehead and rubbing my legs.

I look at my mom and whisper, "I'm so scared, Mom." She bends down real close and looks me right in my eyes and tells me, "So was I, baby, so was I. But it's not anything that women haven't been doing forever, and when she's here, the pain of it all will slide away as soon as you look into her beautiful, tiny little eyes." She kisses my forehead and the door opens. I expect to see my daddy or Mr. Williams, who are waiting in the waiting room with Robby and Beth and Kevin's parents, but it's my doctor, all dressed out, ready to deliver our baby girl into this world.

"I'm not ready yet, doc", I tell her, and she smiles at me, saying, "Well, sweetheart, ready or not, here she comes." She smiles at me sympathetically and says, "You can do this. I'm here and all of them are here for you too, we can do this."

She pulls the sheet up and tells me to scoot to the foot of the bed. Kevin gets up and stands beside the bed, a look of total fear in his eyes.

The nurse grabs my foot and puts it in the stirrup, then does the same with the other one. I am totally exposed in this room right now in front of all these eyes, and I can't bring myself to care. The pressure is so overwhelming and the urge to push starts taking over me. "Alice, not yet... wait a minute." The doctor tells me, and I didn't even realize I was bearing down.

The doctor is at my feet now, all I see is the top of her head as she "checks my progress."

"Oh, wow. Ok! We're moving now! We're about to deliver your baby girl!" She says, excitedly. "Push, Alice, just like your using the bathroom." Kevin is holding my hand as I bear down and give it everything I've got. I feel what can only be described as an intense pop and Kevin's eyes go wide. The doctor smiles up at me and stands up, kicking the chair away, pushing it behind her. She reaches down and hollers to me, "One more, Alice, give me a good one!" I push as hard as I can and feel the pain shoot into my head and then a release from the bottom half of me.

"Oh, my God!" Kevin cries. "She's absolutely beautiful, Alley! Just like her mommy." He says and reaches down to kiss me.

My mom and Elaine are holding each other's hands, crying, staring at their bloody and messy granddaughter, who has a head full of dark curls, just like her daddy.

They bring her beside the bed for me to look at her and then they take her to clean her up. When she's all clean they put her on my chest and she looks up at me with her tiny little eyes, questioning me as she's moving her little fingers by her face. The nurse tells me to try and let her latch, so I put her mouth to me, and she gets it right away.

Kevin is on the bed with us again, one of his arms over my head and the other over me, running his fingers over her hair. "Man, she's got his hair, doesn't she?" He says, all the love in the world in his expression as he looks at her. "He's here, ya know. He sees her, Alley, I know he does." He bends down and kisses her fat little cheeks. "I love you, so much, Alice." He kisses me and adds, "I love you too, you beautiful little girl." And she wraps her finger around his, holding tight to her daddy.

I fall asleep as she's nursing and when I wake up, she's gone. I panic, looking around to find her and see Kevin asleep next to me in the bed. I sit up and look around until I see my daddy, Mr. Williams and everyone else; my mom, Elaine, Kevin's parents, Matt, Britt, and Jess, all sitting by the window on the long couch that runs the length of the wall. Daddy's holding Dallas, she's dressed in a little pink gown that's drawn closed at the feet and she has a pink hat on her head. He's staring down into her tiny red face, cooing and talking to her in his best baby voice. I lay back and watch them all, not saying a word, not wanting to disturb the scene before me.

Everyone is gathered around her, this precious child of ours, all of ours, and I feel myself wishing for Darry. My heart tugging at his memory. I wish you were here to hold our daughter, babe. She's beautiful. Please watch over her.

I feel Kevin move and look over at him to see his eyes open, watching them the same as me. "Look at them with her." He says to me, quietly. "Look at all that love and adoration."

I nod and smile at him, and he adds, "She's one lucky little girl." And I know exactly what he means. She has the love and support of so many people that loved Darry and that love me and Kevin and now her too. I know immediately that she's going to be not only loved tremendously, but she's going to be seriously spoiled! And I'm perfectly ok with that.