Broken Lantern

Chapter Three

I missed my ultrasound because it was scheduled for the day after the accident. Kevin has been here with me all week, refusing to leave my side and trying to get me to go to the doctor for my missed appointments. He's pushed for me to reschedule the ultrasound, but I just don't feel like I'm ready to leave the house yet.

I know he can't be comfortable sleeping in that recliner or on the floor, which he has started sleeping on now, but he says he's perfectly fine. He said he doesn't want me to be alone, and that he is staying until I tell him he has to go. He's only left to go get a change of clothes and to take a shower once or twice when someone else was here with me.

It's very sweet and thoughtful of him, and I appreciate it very much, but I know he wants to go see Matt and to check on Joel. And he needs to go back to school too.

He's getting updates through text messages about Joel every day, but I know it's not the same.

He says Jess has been by Joel's side the whole time. She hasn't left the hospital once. Her dad had to bring clean clothes to her there because she refused to walk out of his room. She only leaves the room briefly when the nurses need privacy and even then, she just steps outside of the door and is right back again as soon as they call her in.

I know how she feels. And I hate that she's feeling it.

"Who's there for her though, Kevin?" I had asked him, not wanting her to be sitting there crying and hurting with no one to lean on.

"Their families are alternating staying with the two of them. His mom and dad, her mom and dad, and his sister have all stayed with her up there." he told me, reassuring me that she's got support.

I still don't feel like eating, but Kevin forces me to eat at least one good meal a day and he makes me take a few bites of a sandwich for breakfast or lunch.

"You have to eat, Alley" he said to me earlier this afternoon. I hit him in the arm. "Sorry, I mean, Alice."

"The baby has to have food", he reminded me, handing me a plate with half a pb an j and apple slices.

"I know, thank you", I told him, taking the plate and eating the apple slices. "I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."

He looked up, taken aback for a split second and then he smiled at me. "I wouldn't be anywhere else." He said to me, handing me a glass of milk.

He's been very patient with me. When I lose it and snap at him for hovering or for telling me to eat for the hundredth time, he doesn't get upset with me. Instead he hugs me and tells me it'll be ok. He'll put the plate of food on the table next to me and go outside to sit on the porch until I calm down. He amazes me, because I don't think I'd be as calm as he has been if someone was being that ugly to me.

After a long day of watching tv, talking and napping, it's dinner time. I eat the latest chicken casserole that Kevin's made and finish the glass of lemonade, sitting the empty dishes on the coffee table and lay my head back to look up at the ceiling. He's sitting beside me on the floor, his back up against the couch where I'm lying, his legs stretched out in front of him, his empty plate and glass next to him. He's watching the news with a very serious, very focused look on his face. And I begin to drift off to sleep to the sound of the weatherman telling us about next week's forecast.

I'm back in the hospital. The long corridor in front of me getting longer and longer as I try my hardest to run to the end of it. The lights are flickering all around me, I hear crying and screaming but there's no one there, it's completely empty. It looks like the apocalypse has passed through here, machines are overturned and scattered around the floors, hospital beds are turned over on their sides, blocking doorways. There's trash and other debris everywhere, and there's blood all over everything. I finally make it to the door that I'm looking for and turn to go into the room. There's a body on the bed before me, the room looks to be in the same condition as the rest of the hospital. I walk over to the bed and look down to see Darry's bloody face and broken body laid out before me. His eyes open suddenly, and he grabs my arm, but his face isn't his face anymore, it's Kevin's. I scream and scream, trying to break away from his hands...

"Alice!" Alice! Wake up!" I'm being shaken frantically. My eyes open and I sit straight up on the couch. I'm looking into Kevin's face; he looks distressed, his eyes puffy and his hair disheveled, like he was just sleeping too. I look down on the floor beside the couch and see his pillow and blanket there beside me. "Are you ok? You were screaming pretty loud. You scared the crap out of me." He says as he comes to sit beside me, trying to calm his frantic breathing.

"Oh, Kevin, it was awful" I cry, and he pulls me into his arms.

"It's ok, Alice. I'm here, you're safe."

And in this moment, I'm very happy that he's here. I'm suddenly so thankful that he hasn't allowed me to be alone. I don't think I could do this alone.

"Can you stay with me tonight, please?" I ask him, quietly.

"I wasn't going anywhere. I told you, I'm not leaving until you tell me to." He says, trying to assure me that he's not leaving my side anytime soon.

"I mean, here, on the couch. Will you lay with me and just hold me, please? While we sleep..." I say, embarrassed and unsure if he will be ok with it.

I see his cheeks flush and he nods, scooting up behind me. He wraps me in his arms and pulls me toward him, resting my back against his chest. I feel safe and comforted as I drift off to sleep again, praying that I don't return to that awful hospital.