Broken Lantern

Chapter Twenty-Five

"I don't think I want another big wedding, though, Mom. I don't want to wear white again either, it doesn't feel right", I tell her, for what seems like the millionth time. Me, Mom, Elaine and Dally are all sitting at her kitchen table, eating breakfast, discussing wedding details, which already feels odd considering that it wasn't that long ago that I was sitting here discussing my wedding to Darry. We've decided to wait until we have both graduated at least. We've both gone back to school, which is only possible due to both Mom and Elaine. They have taken on babysitting duties, exchanging days, in order to see us finish school. Thank fully there's only a few more months left of our senior year, it took forever for us to catch up on our missed assignments, and we had to agree to Saturday classes for the first couple of weeks to make up the missing credits.

We were both determined to walk with our friends, though, so Saturdays didn't seem like that big of a deal. Mary stepped up immediately and took Saturday's with Dally, so that made the decision easier. I think all of them were just very eager to get us through to the end of school.

Being back to school was odd at first. Everyone knew me and Darry had been married, which made it tough to walk back into school on the arm of one of his very best friends. Jessica and Joel were in Saturday classes with us for a while too, they both had some catching up to do as well after the accident and him being in a coma for so long, her staying with him.

"Alley?" I hear Mom calling me and come back to the conversation. "Yeah?" I ask, giving Dally her bottle.

"I asked if you had thought about where you want to have the wedding? When I asked you last week you said you were looking into it. So? Did you find somewhere?" She asks, slightly annoyed that I wasn't paying attention.

"Mom, I really just don't know. I thought about the park, but I don't know when we're getting married exactly, so I don't know if that's going to work. We've talked about a winter wedding, like around Christmas time, but Kevin thinks waiting until Christmas is too long", I say with an over exaggerated sigh. "I just don't know."

"Alley, no one is trying to rush you, but we do need to at least set a date so we can know when and what to plan first."

I finish feeding Dallas her bottle and clean up her messy little face. She reminds me of a baby doll, she's so cute. She smiles at me as she tries to take the washcloth from me. "Uh uh, little girl, this isn't for you", I tell her, leaning into to rub my nose to hers.

She laughs and throws her head back, being overly dramatic and expressive just like her mommy. I can't help but laugh with her. And then mom joins in on the laughter with us.

Kevin comes into the kitchen with Daddy and Robby, talking tractors and planting schedules. I don't know why but Kevin is trying to talk Daddy into using the field in the back, between our houses, to plant pumpkins and Christmas trees. He has it in his head that we, as in he and I, could start a seasonal farm, selling only at Halloween and Christmas, and we'd somehow be set financially throughout the year. Daddy and Bobby have been very patient and actually pretty supportive of his idea, believing it to be a sound business decision. I don't get it, but hey, whatever these guys want to do, that's on them.

I'll plant some pumpkins and Christmas trees. I don't mind; then mine will all be free, and I'll have the pick of the bunch! It could work.

"Are you guys hungry?" Mom asks them, pointing to the food on the counter and stove. "Famished!" Kevin says, grabbing a piece of sausage and taking a big bite before he comes to kiss his little girl and me.

"Kevin, please tell my daughter that you guys need to set a date for the wedding." Mom tries to bring him over to the dark side, but he resists and throws it back to me. "Oh no, sorry, Mrs. Wilson, but that's all her." He sits down at the table and starts playing peek-a-boo with Dally, picking her up and taking her from me.

I stand up and walk over to the counter, putting distance and the counter between me and all of them.

"Ok, so now that everyone's here, I'm going to tell you why we haven't set a date." I look to Kevin, who encourages me to go on with a wink and a smile.

"I have thought about this and thought about this. I cannot move forward as long as I'm looking back. I have to say goodbye to Darry before I can say "I do" to Kevin." I continue talking to the very confused faces in front of me.

"Honey, I don't think I understand exactly", Bobby says, questioning what I mean.

"Well, I've decided that I'm taking my part of his remains and I'm having a small portion put into a special trinket for Dally. The rest I'll be flying out to Oceanside, where we honeymooned. I'll be releasing his ashes into the ocean where we drove along the coast our last day there, and that's where I'll say my goodbyes to him, so I can let him go and start my new life."

They're all looking around at each other, and I'm terrified that they're going to protest or be angry or upset, but they're not. They smile back at me and tell me this sounds like a solid plan, a great idea. All of them agree that I need to let him go, I need to move on, for my sake and Dally's, and Kevin's too.

"I leave a week after graduation", I inform them and go back to sit next to Kevin, who leans in, whispering, "I'm proud of you, Alley. You handled that very well."

"Well, speaking of graduation, dear", Daddy starts. "It's not very far off from now, are we having a party here after or are we babysitting while you guys go to other parties?"

We hadn't even discussed parties really. We're just glad to be graduating. I look at Kevin, who is also looking at me and we both say at the same time, "Other parties, babysitting", and laugh at both of our eagerness to get off of this farm for a while.

Everyone else is laughing with us, understanding just how badly we need to get away.

"Alrighty then", Daddy says, clapping his hands together. "I think we can plan a night with this little one, don't y'all?" He says, looking at Mom, Elaine and Bobby, reaching down to take her from Kev.

"Certainly", Bobby says, leaning in to kiss her tiny cheek.

"Hey, where are Robby and Beth?" I ask, realizing they didn't come in for breakfast.

"I don't know, they were with us in the barn", Kev tells me, looking back down the hallway, to see if they're in the livingroom.

"I'm gonna go get them, will you keep an eye on her?" I ask, pointing to Dally, who doesn't need anymore eyes on her, honestly.

I leave the house and walk out to the barn. I go through the already open doors and tiptoe through as quietly as possible, trying to sneak up and scare them. I hear them moving around, the hay making noise under their feet, and their giggles coming from the far stall on the right.

I sneak up, and jump up, looking into the stall, but I am not prepared for what I see. Robby and Beth are in the corner, making out! My little brother is kissing Darry's little sister like he's grown! "Robby Wilson!" I yell at him, "Get your butt out of there right now!" I stand firm, pointing to the barn door, "Get outside right now, both of you!"

They're both wide eyed, knowing they've been outed and they can't argue, manipulate or talk their way out of what I just saw with my own eyes.