Before The Beginning

Chapter 21: It Could Be Something Else

Begin!

~Beatrice's POV

It had been the first month after we started living on the island that the apples had started growing. They weren't ready to eat yet, but we were hopeful that they would work. Unfortunately, we'd never have a way to test them for sure. One thing that was readily apparent from day one was that we couldn't get any mushroom samples from Anwhistle Aquatics without raising suspicion from Gregor. Everything that we were doing with the apples and the sugar was done in pure blind faith that they would work as intended. A scary thought to be sure, but there was nothing we could do otherwise. I was standing with Maya, the head researcher on the project, while she was explaining in detail what they had done. I was jotting it down in my commonplace book as part of my recounting of our journey. This information might be useful someday.

"And once they're grown we have some volunteers who are willing to test them for adverse side effects," She explained.

"There shouldn't be any," I replied. "Unless you're allergic to horseradish."

Maya nodded, "That would be a special case. Hopefully the sugar would help with that instead. Are you allergic to horseradish?"

"No, I'm allergic to peppermints," I said casually, knowing my allergies were unusual.

Bertrand was currently fixing the water purifier elsewhere. And it had seemed like a perfectly normal, pleasant, day. Except for when it wasn't. I had been fighting something that upset my stomach all day. I had woken up with what I was sure was food poisoning; I was nauseous and barely had any appetite. I didn't bother anyone with it so far. It'll pass I'm sure. But it was persistent. And Maya had even commented that I didn't look well.

"I'm fine, just ate something that didn't agree with me." I replied. I explained how I had been feeling.

She gave me a skeptical look and said, "Well you know it could be something else."

And realization hit me like lightning. I quickly excused myself to go see our island doctor.

~...

Wait. Wait. Wait.

It was the longest five minutes of my life. I was tapping the bathroom counter nervously with my nails as I stared at the thing. All I could do was wait for it to tell me what I think I already knew. And only afterwards would I even know how I felt about it. I was thankful that we even had some of these tests in the facility. Of course people lived here normally without being scientists so it made sense that this kind of service was provided for those who needed it. And I was a lucky one who did... or unlucky, I don't know yet.

Since Sammie was older than me she always had insightful remarks on this sort of thing. She had two beautiful children, and I wasn't even married yet. I wish she was here to tell me everything is going to be fine no matter what shows up on that stick. It was a fact in V.F.D. for a while now that female volunteers were encouraged to take birth control, to prevent, ahem, "unwanted disruptions to their work." (Since it's too dangerous to work while pregnant, not that some don't still do it.) But the suggestion didn't apply if you were married. Sammie had been married first and chose to stay in the organization after having each of her children. Sure she divorced while pregnant with her second, but the point still stood. Married volunteers had a tendency to leave service to have children and that was acceptable too; as long as you kept your word that you wouldn't reveal secrets to anyone.

The point was: I had forgotten my pills when we left.

"Come on... can't you go any faster?" I mumbled.

That didn't help, obviously.

The biggest issue on my mind wasn't whether or not I was pregnant. It was how Bertie would react if I was. We loved each other. We had started a physically intimate part of our relationship like two consenting adults, regardless of our unmarried status, it seemed logical to guess that he wouldn't mind. But he had also never expressed any interest in having a kid, or brought up the idea. The closest we got to the topic was when we were both there for Sammie when she had her daughter, we didn't discuss it afterwards though. I simply wanted to support my friend on a special day.

When I was with Lemony, we did have thoughts of having children. And I was interested in the idea. I'd love to have a child, maybe one... or two... or three; yeah three that seems like a good number. Of course when I was with Lemony, I was smart enough to take my pills at the proper times. I guess running away really does make some people dumber. But I wanted to get away from a man who wanted to kill me! I had better priorities at the time than worrying about whether or not my boyfriend would-

Beep

I gasped and quickly grabbed the device. I took a deep breath and looked at the results.

Two pink lines.

I stared at it.

And then I stared at it some more.

After a while, I realized I wasn't blinking. I was barely breathing. All I could do was stare at those two pink lines. I wasn't dumb. I knew what that meant. Now that I knew my answer I was able to consider the idea.

I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby. And while I may not have necessarily meant for this to happen, I found that I didn't mind. I wanted this before so why would I be against it now?

Now comes the real problem: how to tell Bertrand...

~...

I was in our house pacing around the room waiting for him to come home. How do you say it? Where do I begin? Should I pretend everything is fine and tell him later? No that won't work. He was worried about my vomiting this morning and I was sure that today wasn't the end of that too. I wonder if he suspected the idea. It'd make things a little easier if he did cause he could guess it. There were so many emotions running through me; fear, joy, love, pride. I wasn't sad or distraught at all. I just worried that maybe he wasn't ready to be a father. What if he had wanted to wait a few years first? Was I ready to be a mother? I wasn't sure, but I knew damn well I could try.

I heard the door creak open and saw Bertrand come in with a smile on his face. "Hi Bea!"

"Hi Bertie," I said, giving him a kiss.

"How are you feeling? Is your stomach ok?"

I tried to sound nonchalant as I replied, "Oh yeah it's feeling a lot better. I talked to one of our doctors and everything is... fine."

He didn't look like he believed me. Well I suppose I was never great at lying.

"Um, actually honey come sit down I have something to tell you."

I led him over to our bed and sat down with him. "Are you sure everything is ok, Bea?"

"Well... I do feel fine but..."

He looked worried. I took a deep breath and grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes.

"Bertrand, I'm pregnant."

~End of Chapter!

Yes, I am that cruel.