Before The Beginning

Chapter 40: Back from the Trip

Begin!

~Karen's POV

We didn't encounter another villain during our stay. I suppose them never coming back telegraphed to their sender that they had been captured or worse. (Not that we do that sort of thing. We put them in jail not in Hell.) We stayed here for just over 3 weeks, making use of our time alone together, and making plans for when we'd get back.

But after the first week something bothered me...

Well more specifically it left a very bad feeling in my stomach; literally and figuratively.

I woke up on, I think it was, July 8th and Quinten was still asleep beside me. I felt horribly sick to my stomach and quickly ran into the bathroom.

Once I was finally done vomiting, I was able to try to process what was wrong with me. Perhaps it was something I ate? The room service here wasn't that good, maybe someone tried to poison me? No that can't be it, otherwise Quinten would have been poisoned too... and the other obvious reason is I'd be dead by now if that were the case. I racked my brain for any answer to this conundrum...

I felt the color drain from my face as one, very unlikely, possibility passed through my brain...

But maybe it was worth checking...?

I left the bathroom and saw Quinten was still asleep, which I was thankful for since I'd prefer if he doesn't see me doing this. I grabbed my travel bag off the floor and carried it back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

I sighed and talked softly to myself, "Don't get excited... You've done this before and it's never... just stay calm, Karen."

I pulled a pregnancy test out of my travel bag. I couldn't honestly tell why I had bothered to bring this with me. At this point, it was just me being hopeful. But hope isn't what I should be feeling right now. Hope only raises expectations and mine were supposed to stay low. I was happier that way.

~...

Wait. Wait. Wait...

The longest five minutes of my life and I've done this before. I've been with a couple other guys before Quinten; neither of them lasted, obviously but it didn't matter, what mattered was it meant I've done this before. I've had to do this same wait before. And it felt just the same.

When I was a senior in high school I had a scare like this with my first boyfriend, and that was what led me to a doctor telling me that I was unlikely to ever get pregnant. It was the worst day of my life. I've been through over a dozen missions since, some that nearly killed me, and I still contend that hearing those words hurt more than any broken bone, black eye, or whatever else I've had thrown at me over my volunteer career. I remember it vividly when I told Bea and she stayed awake with me all night while I sobbed my heart out.

And now I had to wait again. I don't like waiting for news I already know. It's redundant. Why was I bothering? I knew the answer to this question, and I knew I didn't like it so what was the point? That's just it, there was no point. I sat down on the countertop and couldn't even bring myself to look at the small stick lying next to me.

Quinten knew my feelings. We had agreed that we would try for the first couple years of our marriage and if it really seemed like it wasn't working then we'd accept it and move on. Maybe consider our other options at that point. But the chance was there. Bea reminded me of that fact. That there was a chance. A small one, but a chance.

Yeah... that's why I'm doing this. Cause there's a chance...

Beep

I closed my eyes instinctively. Should I even look? Was it worth the heartache? I sighed again. You started this, Karen, you have to look. My hands were shaking as I reached down and grabbed the thing. I took a deep breath and looked down.