Can't sleep.
My throat hurts.
My right eye hurts.
My mind is just spinning.
I feel restless, but I'm tired.
Just sitting in the dark.
Thinking about my toxicity.
I think everyone has a level of toxic in them.
It can range from ego, lack of morals, etc.
My toxicity is that I don't give people the benefit of the doubt anymore. I'm so used to people lying to me about anything. Small simple things to big things. So, I quickly assume that I'm being lied to. I doubt what you say. I analyze your intentions.
I'm not always right when it comes to that and it's not a good flaw to have, either. I don't understand why people lie anyway. What's done in the dark always come to light.
Is it my honesty?
Is it because I don't sugarcoat my thoughts?
People lie everyday, but when I tell the truth or be honest, it's wrong.
Why?
Why is it easier to believe a lie than the truth?
I don't benefit from lying.
I don't see the point.
I don't gain anything from hurting someone I care about with my honesty.
I'm never intentionally trying to hurt anyone's feelings.
When I don't respect you or you don't exist to me, I give no flying fuck about how you feel. Why? You don't matter to me. Just another meat bag that the greater being had to make.
Yet....people that I thought cared about me will believe a damn lie rather than talk to me.
That's okay.
I will remain telling you my honesty, but I will love you from a distance.
I can't trust someone who will smile in my face while stabbing me in the back.
YOU ARE READING
Letters To Myself
RandomIn this book, I share my letters that I wrote in a notebook. Each letter expresses my raw emotion and it isn't in chronological order. It's an ineffective way to get my thoughts out, although it never left. I wanted to share my emotional rollercoas...
