Ghost - Elmax

Chapter 41 : Sex?

Max and Jane spent the night after the funeral at the hotel. The two girls were exhausted and preferred not taking risks on the road. They stayed the morning in bed, cuddling each other while slowly waking up. Jane straightened a bit and met Max's eyes. The two girls watched each other before leaning for a kiss. The kiss became more passionate, and Jane rolled on her side to finish on Max. Jane began to be closer to Max, heating up the redhead. But Max felt something weird and preferred stopping.

- "Step back, Jane!"

- "I did something wrong!?" asked the brunette with an irritated tone.

- "Just step back!"

Max had to push her.

- "What the fuck!?" got angry Jane. "I thought you wanted it!"

- "Of course I want it! But you're not ready!"

- "Hell yeah I am!"

- "Hell no, you're not! You're fucking pale like a ghost, you have cold sweat, and you breathe too fast!"

- "I'm good!"

- "No you're not! Just look at your goddamn hands!"

Jane looked down and noticed that her hands were shaking a lot. She hid them behind her back before looking away.

- "Tell me you didn't think of them while you were kissing me or that you didn't feel any pain, and I'll believe you."

Jane clenched her jaw without looking up.

- "I know you're trying to convince yourself that you're ready, and I tried to encourage you, but you're clealy not ready! Why do you force you to do this if it hurts you?" asked softly Max with a lack of understanding.

Jane just shrugged with a tear falling.

- "I just wanted to be okay..." told Jane with a small voice.

- "But, Jane, you need time to heal correctly, you can't force things like that, you could just make it worse!"

- "I know! But...I don't want you to leave because it's too long!"

- "To leave!? Jane, you slapped me and I'm still here!"

- "I know! I just want to be sure you would stay, I just wanted you to be satisfied!"

- "But if you have a panic attack while we're having sex I'm not satisfied! Don't ruin everything you did just for some minutes of sex!"

- "Some minutes!? Nice, I'm offended now."

- "You know what I meant," said Max.

- "Yeah...it's just, since I'm born, I lose everyone, I didn't want this to happen with you..." explained Jane.

- "If I leave you for this then I'm the worst bitch ever! Am I a bitch?"

- "Hard question, I need to think about it!" joked the brunette with a serious tone.

Max took her pillow and threw it on her girlfriend's face who lightly chuckled. The redhead grabbed her girlfriend's head and forced her to lay down again next to her.

- "We'll go slowly, okay? You just kissed me again a few weeks ago, I'm not expecting you to heal in a second, you have all your time. I know you're tired and you want this to end, and it will, I know that, but, for now, just take your time, I'm still here. And seeing you smile is satisfying me."

Jane had a small amused sigh. She was feeling ridiculous, she knew Max wasn't going to leave, but a part of her couldn't stop thinking it could happen. She never thought her mother would forget her, but it happened; she never thought all her friends would let her down when she was bullied for being lesbian, but they did; she never thought her first girlfriend would be raped and killed in front of her, but it happened; she never thought she would buried her sister, but she did; she never thought she would live what she lived in Somalia, but she did. All of this happened while she was just trying to live, but it was like if she wasn't allowed to live, just to suffer. Why Max would stay with such an unlucky girl as her!? It didn't make sense; it was too beautiful to be true! But, anyway, Max was there, it was all that mattered.

The two girls spent the rest of the day in the car, driving, before finally arriving at their home. They barely have the time to close the door that someone was already knocking at it. They frowned at each other, but Jane still opened it. A man brutally entered and blocked Jane against her wall.

- "WHAT THE FUCK!? LEAVE HER ALONE!" intervened Max, grabbing his shoulder and throwing him out of the apartment.

- "CAN I FUCKING KNOW WHY YOU OPENED A FILE ON ME!?" yelled the man to Jane.

- "You're a betrayer, I know that! What happened is all your fault!" answered the brunette.

- "You're taking risks, Jane, it can't end well!"

- "I hope it won't. Now leave before I open another file for assaulting."

- "It's not over!"

- "You threaten me now!?"

The man grumbled some inaudible things before quickly running in the stairs. Jane came back calmly inside while Max was still not understanding the situation. She followed Jane and closed the door.

- "Who the fuck was that!?" asked the redhead.

- "Daniel."

- "The guy who was with you in Somalia!?"

- "Yes."

- "He is fucking crazy! He has no right to do this!"

- "I know. He is scared."

- "Scared!? I'm the one scared right now!"

- "He knows he did something wrong, he is scared of the consequences."

Max gulped with difficulties and tried to calm her fast breathing and her shaking body; she really thought this man was going to hit her if not killing her! But Jane was calm, like if she didn't care.

The brunette took off her coat, then Max's coat, before taking her in her arms. Max wrapped her arms around her and tried to enjoy this moment. Jane had such a complicated life that she was scared something would happen to her every time she left home. And this story with the Army was making it worse.