swasan... i do... (Completed)

chap 21- her flaws.....

Sanskar entered swara's room. She was standing near the window staring at infinity. Sanskar held her shoulder and turned her towards him.
Sanskar: swara... you are angry?
Swara: no
Sanskar: you should be. If i were in your place na.. i would have shouted at you.. scolded you..
Swara: i cant do this
Sanskar: why swara... why...
Swara kept mum for a while. Sanskar looked straight in her eyes and found a strange fear and guilt there. As if she was the guilty.
Sanskar: swara... you have the right. You can do anything you want but please... say something. This thing is killing me.
Swara again turned her back towards him. Sanskar forcefully turned her back.
Sanskar: i am really really sorry for everything... please forgive me..
Swara stared at him all of a sudden. There were visible change of emotion in her eyes.
Sanskar: say something swara.... say something.....
Swara was not able to say anything. Sanskar felt a rage building up inside him...for himself. He punched his fist on the wall with full force.
Sanskar: SAY SOMETHING SWARA... DAMN IT!!
Sanskar shouted on her in a fit of rage. But swara felt some flashbacks in front of her eyes. She was shivering with fear. Sanskar saw her like this for the first time. He calmed down immediately but before that swara collapsed on the floor. Sanskar held her in between. Now her empty eyes had tears. She was mumbling a few words.
Swara: i am sorry.... i am a useless mindless freak. I am dumb. I can never make anyone happy. I am a useless mindless freak.
Sanskar looked at her in utter disbelief. Was she the same swara he has known till now? Was he responsible for her this condition?
He cupped her face but her mumbling was continued.
Sanskar: shant swara...
She was still mumbling those words.
Sanskar raised his voice.
Sanskar: SHUT UP SWARA....
Swara looked at him for a second with her tear filled eyes.
Sanskar: you are not .... you can never be freak. You are the best... got it... you are the best.
Swara calmed down for a moment. She was again about to utter something but sanskar placed his lips over hers tightly. He started to kiss her gently. After a few seconds he broke the kiss and looked at her. He placed a flick away from her face.
Sanskar: you have every right swara... right to fight with me.. scold me.. love me.. be angry with me.
Swara looked at him as if finding something inside him. Sanskar cupped her face and kissed her forehead.
Sanskar: i love you and i did wrong with you. Punish me but not yourself. You were not at fault.
Swara nodded like a child.
Swara: can i hug you?
Sanskar felt tears gushing out of his eyes. He just nodded.
Swara hugged him very tightly. She was calm now. He looked at her closed eyes.
Sanskar: i think you need to sleep for a while.
Swara nodded. He picked her up in his arms and placed her on her bed gently. She closed her eyes and held his hand lightly. Within no time she was asleep.
Sanskar wiped his tear and came out of her room in the hall. Ragini and laksh were sitting tensed in the hall.
Laksh: hwz she?
Sanskar: calm.. and sleeping.
Ragini: thank god...
Sanskar: i ll not leave him....
Ragini suddenly looked at laksh.
Ragini: who?...
Sanskar: that shekhar...
Laksh: she... shekhar.... why?
Sanskar: i can sense.. this was a trauma trigger. He has done bad with her. He had traumatized her childhood so bad that the wounds can still bleed.
Ragini: you have to take care of her bhaiya.
Sanskar nodded and went back to swara's room.
Ragini: for a while i thought that...
Laksh: that swara had told everything to him.. i too thought that.
Ragini: i wish she can come out of everything. But it is not very easy.

It was evening. Swara was sitting with ragini.
Swara: i am afraid ragu.. very very afraid. I thought all those attacks are subsided but no.. i was very wrong.
Ragini: swara.. dont worry. This was just a trigger. Sometimes it happens. You are a doctor yourself. Think practically.
Swara: i cant let sanskar's life getting hampered because of me. I cant let his happiness to be ruined by me. I cant force my flaws on him. I have to call off this marriage. He is so pure... so gentle. I cant force my flaws on him. I am going to talk to him.
Ragini: are swara... pagal ho gyi h tu?
Suddenly a voice came RAGINI.. DEFINITELY PAGAL HI HO GYI HAI YE LADKI...
Sanskar was stamding in front of them with a chocolate in his hand.
Sanskar: nobody is perfect swara.. neithet you neither me. But together we can make a perfect life.
Swara tried to open her mouth but he forced a chocolate in hers.
Sanskar: we both are perfect together. Tell me.. if i do have any flaw wont you accept me?
Swara again tried to open her mouth but again a chocolate was stuffed into it.
Sanskar: i know your answer. Now no more rona dhona. Get ready. We 4 will go out for dinner.
Swara: but listen to me..
Again one more chocolate.
Sanskar: my sweetheart.. my love... i love you so much.
He held her by her shoulders.
Sanskar: swara... i love you. Now you doesnt mean only the best of you. You means you whole. Your smile, your tears, your happiness, your pain, your everything. And you are not flawed. You are very strong. And if someday you fell weak then your sanskar will be there fr you... always.
A drop of tear escaped from her eyes just to be wiped away by sanskar's thumb.
Sanskar: dont cry. I love you the most.
Ragini understood the situation and left from there without them knowing. Sanskar smiled a little and closed the door of the room. Swara was standing staring at the reflection of her in the mirror. She was blushing making sanskar's heart skipping beats. He saw her long hair covering the nape of her neck. He came near her and placed his lips on her neck leaving her shivered for a second. His hands were roaming on her belly and waist.
Swara: san... sanskar...
Sanskar: hmm...
Swara: woh...
Sanskar: dont say anything ... just close your eyes.
Swara: i want to confess something.
Sanskar: hmm...
Swara: i... i am not a virgin..
Sanskar's hand stopped suddenly. He looked at her in disbelief.
Swara: i know.. i should have told you earlier. There is a ...
Sanskar: i cant believe this swara. You..
Swara felt a guilt building up inside her.
Swara: i am really sorry. Nor that it means ..
Sanskar suddenly hugged her tightly.
Sanskar: i cant believe this that you think this thing does even matter for me. Virginity... what virginity. Virgin means pure thoughts. And in that regards you are the purest girl. And everybody does have a past. I dont even want to know anything. What matters to me is you love me and i love you.
Tears twinkled in her eyes. Again a voice came in her mind
NOW I LL SEE WHO WILL MARRY YOU DR SWARA BOSE.
Sanskar: the connection is from heart to heart. And thats all that matters. And m also not a virgin. Me and kavita were in relationship for 9 long years. Getting physical is one's personal choice. It depends on him or her. It is not a measure for charecter. What matters is thoughts. If thoughts are pure then charecter is pure.
Swara nodded a little. The respect for him in her heart has been increased to thousand folds.
Sanskar: you love me na...
Swara: more than my life...
Sanskar: then dont think about all these.
Swara nodded and smiled. She placed her lips over sanskar's and begin to kiss him. But soon sanskar took over charge and made her lie on the bed.
Sanskar: but in our case.. i want everything to be happened on the special night.
He winked at her making her blush. He burried his face in her neck kissing her lightly.
Swara: just now you said everything on special night.
Sanskar looked at her and smiled.
Sanskar: i said everyyyyyyything. But something should be on my birthday too na. My birthday gift...
Swara laughed a little. Sanskar came over her touching her waist with his hands.
Sanskar: how can i wait for 10 more days.
Swara giggled a little. Sanskar slided his top up a little. He touched her waist and roamed his finger on it.
Sanskar: remember the first time i saw you in red and black saree in college fest..
Swara: yup
Sanskar: i just wanted to kiss you so bad on that day.
Swara: that you have already done a lot of time.
Sanskar: no.. not here....
He placed his finger on her waist.
Sanskar: here...
Swara blushed hard making him wanting her more and more. Sanskar slided the top up a little more. He placed his lips on her belly making swara arching her back. For the next few minutes sanskar's hand and lips were savouring the skin of her belly and waist. Sometimes gentler sometimes harder. The breathe was becoming more shallow. Suddenly sanskar stopped and looked at her.
Sanskar: now if i dont stop na.. that special night will come now only..
Swara tried to get hold on her breathe. He kissed her cheeks and smiled.
Sanskar: get ready swara.. we have to go out.
Swara nodded.
Swara: you can drive me crazy...
Sanskar: you can drive me crazy too....
Both of them chuckled.

Precap
Swasan marriage prep....