Temptation

4 - Hero

The look on her face tells me that she is deep in thought, probably trying to convince herself that maybe I do actually want to see her and it is true, I do want to see her. Being able to sit in silence for once without being asked if I'm okay was literally the best experience of my life. It's like she knew I couldn't stand the small talk but also like she knew how peaceful silence really can be.

Ever since I started acting because my mum couldn't afford our home at the young age of 9, I haven't had a day off. My mum was sweet when I was a child, but she was a single parent dealing with a pain in the ass of a kid. Kids aren't easy and I was especially difficult than any 'normal' child. My mum was on drugs while pregnant with me so when I was born, she had very expensive medical bills to pay. I was a troublemaker since the day I took my first steps; whether I was drawing with a sharpie on the walls or pushing other kids over. I had my anger issues and being in the spotlight has not changed that one bit. Eventually, she lost her job at the supermarket and saw to use me as her money maker. I auditioned for a role in a cereal commercial, but those guys ended up referring me to be on a big-time sitcom. At 9, I was working fulltime, my mum took me out of school, and she spent a lot of my money until I was the age of 17, on her addiction. My mum did have some good intentions, as she would put away a small piece of my earnings into a savings so that we could feed ourselves. Once I was 17, I was able to have control over my own money—every pound I made was mine.

I was out of town one day filming for an Indie movie that never really made it big, but I enjoyed the role I played as a big time New York Policeman fighting crime. After a long day of filming, I finally had the chance to check my phone and my Uncle Roc called me 13 times. I called him back and he told me that my mum had passed from a drug overdose. My only question to Roc was "What drug?" He was shocked and probably insulted by the fact that her only son, his nephew did not give a fuck that his own mum died. How could he really blame me? My mum shot up any drugs she could get, she used my earnings for years and left me in shite. After a brief pause, my uncle hung up the phone and I haven't heard from him since I was 17 years old.

* * *

The silence was peaceful and other than the sound of rain hitting against the car, I could only hear her faint breathing. She didn't bother with small talk—thank fuck—and every so often I would look over to her and catch her staring at me. Her gaze was caught on my tattoo and I knew exactly the one she was staring at. The one that I got painted on my skin when I turned 18 years old, the one from my favourite novel.

I wanted so badly to turn to her look to tell her how beautiful she was, I just bit my tongue only telling her where the quote came from. At one point I bit my tongue so hard to hold myself from saying anything stupid, that I could taste the blood.

* * *

Rather than questioning her about when I could see her again, I word it as more of a demand this time. I'm kind of a dick; I'm used to getting what I want so my tone with her is too aggressive. Hoping that she doesn't get angry with my tone, I want her to understand that I'm not just trying to piss off and that I actually do want to see her again. She shrugs off my aggression and tells me to come inside to her apartment.

Fuck. My thoughts go to the idea of going into her apartment and having sex. I would love to fuck this girl, I'd love to lick her and make her cum, but I can't do that. Then again, I don't see why I even think this is what she wants from me. She doesn't come off as a whore.

I should have brought a Do Not Disclose contract with me.