Temptation

64 - Hero

Madden and I have spent many days in bed; only because we were shagging the entire time. I managed to get a therapist to come by the house today. Madden wants me to talk to someone and I truly don't think I need it but because she thinks I do, so I do it to settle her mind.

Together, we enjoy a simple breakfast made by my girl. I don't know if it's because she's my girlfriend and I'm biased or if it's actually the truth, but Madden is a better cook than my chef in LA. After breakfast, the therapist arrives, Madden offers her a coffee; she waves her own travel mug in the air to say that she already has some. I walk with the therapist to my office which will now be her office for the hour, and we get started. I was really hoping Madden would sit in with me, but Dr. Karen said, "I don't want you holding back anything, so please let it be just the two of us." Obviously, Karen doesn't watch the media because if she did, she would definitely want Madden to sit in. Once we are secured and settled into the room, she pulls out her notepad and starts asking me questions. She questioned mostly my childhood, asking about my mum and dad then asking how I ended up being who I am. I give her the whole fucking story, not even shedding any emotion which I'm sure she was jotting down on that notepad. Her making notes while I spoke really irked me but instead of snapping, I reminded myself who I'm doing this for. By the end of the hour, I've told her a half ass story of my childhood and managed to get to tell her that my mum forced me into this life for crack money. I escort Dr. Karen out of the house before Madden can offer her any food or beverages because I don't need more time to talk to this dull woman.

After lunch, Madden insists that we get out of the house to take Bean for a walk and to play at the dog park. "We've been cooped up for days and we need some fresh air," she says. I know that we've been home for days, self-isolating but going to the dog park means being out in public and I don't want that headache; "We can get fresh air in the backyard." She raises her eyebrows at me; I know what's coming. "Hero," she says with a cute voice, basically begging me to go out and she knows I cannot resist her when she acts like this. "Fine," I say with little excitement.

Madden and I put on appropriate clothing to go out in public. Because we've been inside for days, I've been wearing no shirt and sweatpants while Madden has been walking around in her underwear and my t-shirts. I throw on a black hoodie with black joggers and of course, a black beanie. Madden takes a few minutes longer to put an outfit together, choosing to wear black jeggings, a white mock turtleneck long sleeve and her red hunter boots. I grab a black backpack, stuffing water, doggie bags, a tennis ball and raincoats for both Madden and I—just in case it rains. We leash Bean, I swing the bag onto my back and Madden takes lead with Bean.

I take hold of Madden's free hand as she walks Bean down the street. People stare as they walk by and we laugh at the whispers as they pass by us. People in London are far more polite then they are in LA; they may stare but at least they try to remain quiet when they acknowledge me. If I'm on a movie tour or if I'm doing any sort of promotion, then I don't mind if fans come up to me asking for pictures and autographs because it's for my job. If I am out on a walk or going shopping, or on a date with my girl, I want to be able to savor my fucking free time. If I was a doctor, no one would notice me in the streets and I could go about my day without being approached but not in my profession and I don't even save lives.

At the dog park, we let Bean off his leash so he could explore and roam around on his own. Bean is a massive dog, but he is well trained; based on his size, people tend to freak out so I can only let him off the leash at the dog park, where people are not scared of bigger dogs. Madden and I try to stay close, but Bean is extremely fast so as long as we call his name, he will come back and quickly.

It's nice to be able to walk around, in a public space with dogs and people with Madden. It feels so real, sharing my person with the rest of the world; showing them that no matter what they say about me or what Josephine has to share about me, there is not one thing that could ruin my happiness.

Josephine has called too many times and each time, I've ignored her. I've been trying to hide from the press so that Madden and I can stay out of the light just until Josephine cools off, but people are here, they are snapping pictures of the two of us and I know that this will get out. I look over at Madden, who looks so happy. The sun is hitting her face making her look more beautiful and her smile is worn so long on her face. Seeing her happy in this moment makes me hate myself because I believe I am about to change her mood, "Josephine keeps calling me and I keep ignoring her." I was right; Madden's smile turned into a frown. Madden faces me with curious eyes, waiting for me to continue. "I don't know what she wants—" Her next words bring surprise to me, "Well then let's find out then." I am very confused. I don't know if Madden actually wants to know what Josephine wants or if it's because Madden has some evil plan to get back at Josephine. Madden's smile is back when she sees Bean and calls him over. She starts throwing the tennis ball I packed for him. I stand behind Madden, watching as she throws the tennis ball and can't help keep my eyes off her ass.

"Excuse me," a voice calls from behind me. The voice sounds short and high pitched. I turn around, and there is a little boy standing there with his mum and he holds a dog on its leash. "Could you take a picture with me please?" The boy is not from London, I believe he must be here on a vacation from somewhere in the US, based on his silly accent. Madden has a silly accent too, but it's adorable as hell. Anyone else's American accent pisses me off. He interrupted me while I was mesmerized by my girl and I really want to say no to this kid but if I say no and act like a dickhead then Madden will not be impressed with me. And if Madden is not impressed with me then that means I do not get any love tonight and that would be absolute torture; it would be so hard to sleep beside her without touching her. The mum takes her phone in one hand and wraps the dog's leash around her wrist. I kneel down, making sure not to rest my knees on the ground in order to avoid getting muddy and the mum counts to three before taking the photo. Once the photo is taken, I go back to Madden and hope that no one else comes up to me to take a photo. Before any more people can approach us, I beg Madden to start walking home.