Temptation

76 - Madden

"Good Afternoon to all of Hero's fans and the world out there. I'm coming online to acknowledge the video that is circling around the internet as of 20 minutes ago." I turn my head to see Hero sitting in front of me, fiddling his hands. His frustration towards the man for grabbing me grows more as I continue on with this stupid apology. "I'm not going to sit here and apologize for my actions. It is clear in the video, and to all those witnesses that the paparazzi grabbed hold of me. In no world is it alright for someone to touch a woman in that manner, especially a stranger." When I look up to Hero, I'm expecting a panicked look but instead he wears a smile, so I continue. "Just because I'm engaged to Hero Tomlin, the famous British actor does not mean that paparazzi has full authority to grab hold of me. Honestly, just because Hero is who he is, it does not mean that he should be treated that way either. As human beings we need our privacy and our space. So, no! I will not apologize to a man who disrespected my rights and I sure as hell will not let any slander from fans or journalists hurt me." I look at the comments as I speak, and some are nasty, but others are encouraging. Hero comes to sit with me and into camera view. "No woman deserves to be handled in a manner that Madden did today. That man is lucky that all he got was a slap in the face and not slapped with a lawsuit. I ask my fans now, to respect my love for Madden and to leave cruel and hurtful comments off the internet and we will not be addressing this paparazzi matter again." Hero finishes his comment and shuts down the Instagram live.

I immediately turn off my phone, to avoid any comments at all. Hero distracts me all afternoon, but I need more than just card games and movies. But what I want, I can't have because I am a woman and women suffer through shark week once a month and that would be this week for me. On the bright side, it's nice to be spending quality time with Hero because as of tomorrow he will back to work and touring for the Ever After movie again, this time solo and I have decided to stay home in London.

Calling London my home; never in a million years did I ever think I'd be calling anywhere home again but with Hero, I'm home. I feel a safety and protection with him which is ironic considering everything that's happened so far. Hero brings comfort and protection that no walls, or number of bedrooms could ever bring to me. They say home is where the heart is; truth be told, it is. London, our walls our filled with images of Hero's past for the moments of his mother that he wishes to remember about her, and we've placed images of my family, we have pictures of us on the walls and we have a dog. We have fucking dog—that's when you know when your home. 

The rest of the evening, Hero and I spent time packing his bags. He would take a piece of clothing and shove it in the suitcase which he expects to make everything fit into one suitcase because he hates traveling with hundreds of bags. I take the shoved items and fold them properly so that he will have room. I can be extremely OCD and packing suitcases is a speciality of mine. Hero continues to cram things into the suitcase, and I continue to unpack everything he's thrown in there. I also triple check the list I made for him, making sure he has all the necessities especially since he will be gone for two and a half months. "Are you sure you don't want to join me?" Hero asks as I pack his shampoo and conditioner. I zip up to suitcase and stand to meet Hero in front of me. "I think I have had enough excitement and crowds for a little while babe. It will be nice to stay home, and Sophie said she'd visit me." We get into bed and shut off our table lamps. I turn to face Hero's side, who is already looking at me. As my eyes adjust to the change in light, Hero says to me, "I will try to call you every night, but I cannot promise that I will be able to text much throughout the day." My eyes finally adjust to see Hero in the darkness, his eyes staring at me, "I understand. I was thinking I could look for a job while you are gone?" Just based off his facial expression, I can know exactly what his next works are: a job..." A job?" I was right. I try to explain to Hero that all these people around us are living their dreams, fulfilling their careers and here I am just following in his path. He understands but even I don't know what I want to do with my life. It would be nice to not have to rely on Hero's money all the time but also, I do enjoy staying home. "I don't want you to get a job if you think it's about my money. Whatever is mine, is yours. Also, if you're worried about people thinking that you're with me just for the money, then that's their problems to deal with not yours." Hero's arguments are valid and convincing. While he is gone, I have some thinking of my own to do.