Temptation

83 - Hero

I want to tell her I don't love her so that she just leaves me the fuck alone, but I physically cannot. I'm too weak to lie to her, to tell her I don't love her. Instead I start shouting out at her, which makes people come to stare from inside the house. "Just fucking go!" From the window people are watching, they've opened the door and have a front row view of the mess. "I'll be back tomorrow, Hero." She walks away from me without a tear from her eye. It's killing me to not chase after her, to not go home with her. I go back into the house and chug the bottle of vodka.

* * *

It's been a month and every day Madden has shown up at this house, trying to get me to leave with her.

Week One: I kept yelling at her, every time she came. Hoping that the yelling approach would scare her away. That didn't work.

Week Two: She came in and would watch Anne basically hump me in front of everyone. She remained calm the entire time, letting this girl just dry hump me. I thought that the jealously would drive her crazy.

Week Three: I drank and drank, saying whatever the hell I wanted to say to her. I remember telling her: "You're a lot less pretty than I thought. I guess the sex was so good with you that I looked past your ugliness." Even after saying that she still showed up.

Week Four: Each day, I drank less and took less drugs as the week went on. I got closer to sobering up each day I saw her this week and by Friday, I wanted to go back home with her.

Each morning before she showed up, I pump myself with cocaine so I can act my way through the scene and when she leaves, I drink myself to sleep to stop my heart from aching. I'm ready to cave in, to take her hand and fly home to London with her but over these weeks I've said things to her that I will never be able to take back and I know deep down that I should have never left but it's too late now.

* * *

Right on time, there is a knock at the door. No one even hesitates anymore. They all just continue killing their livers while I go through the scene. When I answer the door, it's not Madden and instead it's Tom. Tom takes a step back, signalling me to close the door and move onto the driveway to speak with him. I take the sign and meet Tom on the driveway. I look around for Madden, "She's not coming Hero." I try to play it cool. This whole time, I've looked forward to her showing up and now I'm disappointed she isn't here. "I've watched her for weeks, beating herself up, getting up every morning trying to come here to fix you. It's fucking sad bro." Wait, why the fuck is Tom Holland in LA...with Madden. "Hero, I'm taking her back to London. She's going to live with me and I'm just here to give you this." Tom reaches his fist out, and I lay my palm flat for him. He places the ring that I put on Madden for our engagement, on my hand. "I don't want this. I got this for her." I know I look like a fucking mess; I know I'm breaking down completely in public; in front of Tom but I cannot control my feelings. "She doesn't want it. You couldn't come back to her and she's tried for a month. She cannot wear a symbol that says I love you when the man who gave it to her is off, intoxicated every hour of every damn day. You had something amazing and now, she's done." He's here to tell me she won't be coming back to me. I thought if I left her, she'd never come back to me, but I had a month to see her; for her to see the old me and she still came around. I've fucked up. "No. No. I left; I know. But it can't be over. I fucked up." Tom starts to walk away from me and towards a car. In the passenger seat, I see her. I see Madden. Tom gets in the car, and as he drives off, my barely sober self, starts chasing after the vehicle. I'm running down the street, screaming at the top of my lungs, "I love you!" The car stops ahead of me, and Madden steps out. Her eyes are blood shot, her face wears hives from all the crying and anxiety. She steps right up to me, "You're a mess, Hero." People get out of their houses, seeing that there is a celebrity out on the street screaming, they need to see this drama. "I know." Madden looks around, "People are staring." She says to me, but I really don't care. "Take me home." I demand. She looks down to her feet, and I try to take her hand. She pulls herself away from me and then looks up to me. "I can't," and she runs back to the car. Quickly, Tom drives away and I'm stuck in the middle of the road.

I cannot move. My heart has literally been torn from my chest. I manage to get my phone from my pocket and start calling Madden multiple times but no answer. The darkness in my head is making it very difficult for me to focus on anything, and suddenly I'm on the phone with Mara. "I'm coming," is all she says to me and I hang up. I stand in the middle of the street, dead like a zombie. Cars drive by me, honking at me to move; rolling down their windows screaming at me and people stare from their doors, taking pictures and videos of me.