Temptation

51 - Hero

Madden sighs when she enters the car. She looks furious, angrier than I have ever seen her. Madden has never actually been mad at me or around me before, I've only ever seen her disappointed and even that I can't handle; luckily her anger is not pointed at me. Thankfully, tomorrow is my last day on set and I am relieved that it was only until now that Josephine and I got into a dispute and am shocked that it took almost two entire movies for it to happen. There were times when I was annoyed with Josephine and did not want to see her face anymore but nothing to this extent. She insulted me and Madden; I don't care what she has to say about me but to say anything about my girl and to try to push her away from me, that is one thing I will not accept. I only have to do two more scenes with her tomorrow, I remind myself and then this stupid fucking series is over, and I can go away just for a little while.

"Let's go to London," I spit out and she turns to me. "Just for the month and then we need to go on a press tour but that will give us time to find our new home and—" She stops me, "I'm in. 100%" Warmth fills my body and not from the anger but from the happiness that she gives me when she agrees to come home with me. Her response clears all the anger I felt in my body and I completely forget about Josephine. I never doubted that she wouldn't come it's just that she just moved to LA and I didn't want to force her to leave to a new place so soon. Although, with all that has happened, escaping to LA seems like a bright idea.

My past is messy, and I would not say I am proud of the person that I was. Being with Madden, I realize that all those things I did to those women; sleeping with them and never texting them, videos of sleeping with them and the list can go on—but these are things I would have never thought about as wrong but if these things were done to Madden by someone, I would hunt them done and fucking kill them. I've learned that when you love someone and you let them in all the way, they become you and you become them. Emily Bronté said it right, "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." That's exactly how I feel with Madden; she is me and I am her.

* * *

I would have liked Madden to come to set with me for this last day but given the circumstances, I understand why she decided to stay home. Madden offers to drive me and pick me up today sot that she can attend the after party but realistically, I can drive myself; "I just want a little more time with you," she confesses. I cannot argue that statement because I feel that way every single time we are fucking apart and it's obsessive but who the fuck cares.

Being on set without Madden, I can feel the absence of her and knowing that she is probably at the hotel asleep makes me jealous because that's exactly what I want to be doing with her right now. I arrive to the hair and makeup trailer; Josephine doesn't even flinch to look at me. She stays seated and absolutely silent which I never thought possible of her and I take this much needed quiet time to think about my girl. The way she laughs at everything I say even when I'm not funny. She plays with her hair when she gets anxious. How brave she is during the entire Noah ordeal.

My whole day is awkward and slightly lonely. I am so used to Josephine driving me crazy, I didn't realize how boring my days were without her in my ear. I'm just happy that no one is begging me to tell them the details of the mess with Noah and I'm especially happy that no one is on my case about Josephine ignoring me. If people questioned me about my life, I probably would have snapped and left set which would only cause me more problems. I just hate how people always want to be involved in my business; am I wearing a sign that says, "I'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING"?

The final sex scene with Josephine is uncomfortable; she usually makes snide remarks which I ignore so that she can feel more comfortable, but she stayed quiet, only saying her lines and immediately pushes me off her when Tommy yells "Cut!" The crew applause for the final scene and the cast goes along to cheer for the crew for making all the magic possible.