Temptation

21 - Madden

Returning to my apartment after 5 days at Hero's makes the place seem unfamiliar. Being here, in this small apartment without him makes the place feel so lonely; a loneliness that I know too well but have gotten used to but now it's overwhelming.

The last couple of days, we avoided talking about him leaving for LA. I don't want to be the one to bring it up to him, but it is also driving me insane that he hasn't said anything about it either.

Maybe he doesn't want to say anything because he is regretting his decision of asking me to be his girlfriend, but he should at least have the decency to tell me. I won't be insulted, I mean he barely knows me, well actually he does know me, but we haven't known each other for a while. I would be a little hurt just because I haven't opened my heart to anyone for a very long time. My head hurts from all this thinking.

I pick up the phone to call Dr. Murphy's office to see if she has any times available for today. I don't have friends here to talk to and I don't have family so the only person I can rant to is my therapist. The receptionist is very nice, a young college student who is just trying to get some experience for her degree; she's able to get me in at 1PM which is only an hour from now. I take a shower and notice that the water is not as nearly as warm or as clean as it is in Hero's apartment. After my shower, I throw on a pair of black Lululemon leggings and a grey, oversized crewneck sweater and a pair of black converse high-tops. As soon as I open the door, I see DJ standing there. I'm taken aback by him being there, "Wh-what are you doing here?" I ask him, trying to sound as polite as possible. DJ removes his eyes from the hallways to briefly look at me while he speaks. "On the job. Hero tells me where to be and he pays me so I can't argue with him." This is all so confusing and flattering at the same time. I explain to DJ that I'm headed to the doctor's office and he is insistent on bringing me to and from wherever I go. I have to guess that Hero must be paying him well to look after a random girl for him. Because there is no way DJ can get out of this, this also means there is no way I can get out of it. I will have to talk to Hero about getting me a far less obvious bodyguard if he is going to continue this because everyone knows who DJ is by now.

DJ leads me to the car, constantly checking all our surroundings and opens the passenger door for me. I direct DJ to the building and make it very clear that he can and will wait for me in the car, parked in the parking lot.

As I enter the building, I look behind me to make sure that DJ has stayed where I told him and I'm glad to see that he has listened to me. I'm here a little early but because Dr. Murphy does not have any clients in at the moment, she lets me start the session 10 minutes earlier than 1PM.

She starts her sessions off the same every single time; she looks for a pen that is black because she knows how much I hate when she uses blue or red and then she sits in her massive orange coloured chair, then crosses her legs laying the note pad on her lap. Dr. Murphy starts off with the basic questions: How was your week? Have you been following the diet plan? How many times did you work out? How are you feeling right now and what brought you here today? I answer all her questions honestly telling her that I haven't stuck to her meal plan, but I have been eating a lot more and I inform her that I haven't had any time to work out. Then I disclose to her the real reason I am here: Hero. I tell her everything that has happened and why I requested for an appointment today. The entire time, she's writing on that damned notepad and all I want to hear from her is some advice. When I get to the part about Hero leaving soon and how we haven't talked about it so just asks me, "Why haven't you asked him about it?" "Well, he's the one who's leaving. He should talk to me about it first..." After the words leave my mouth, I can now see how stupid it sounds. She nods her head in disapproval, "Madden, you are strong, and you have survived too much in your young life but a boy. You can handle this boy any day, so my advice to you is to talk to him." She makes it sound so simple, but my nerves are causing me to shake from even just the thought of bringing it up to him.

The hour is over, and Dr. Murphy looks up to the clock. Her face turns from therapist to almost as a friend. She places her hand on my knee and tells me that her time with me must come to an end as she is moving to Washington with her husband. She gives me her business card with her email and personal phone number and tells me to call her whenever I need to talk. "You will be just fine Madden. I believe in you." Dr. Murphy is the only person in Vancouver, not including Hero who knows me; truly knows me so I give her a head goodbye and I feel the sadness of her move hit me right in the chest as I walk from her office. It isn't until I am outside that I can catch a breath of air in my lungs to minimize the sadness.

DJ and I get to the apartment and part ways at my door. Hero has him on the clock still to watch over me, so he stays outside the apartment, which I will have to talk to him about because this is also very obvious.

After I make myself a chicken salad for supper and wash up, I call Hero. He picks up right away. I ask him if I can come over to his place and he tells me to bring things for more than one night. While we are still on the phone and I'm telling him about the shock on my face when I saw DJ outside my door, I am packing my bags. He's laughing and apologizes for not warning me, but I assure him that it was alright.

* * *

Hero buzzes me into the building and sends DJ home to be with Mara for the next couple of days. He says that Luke and Markus will take over for him for the time being. I knock on his apartment door as if he wasn't expecting me and he opens it right away leading me in. He takes my bags from my hands and throws them into his bedroom, coming back, quickly without a shirt, to take me by my waist and dips me followed by a fire filled kiss; his lips pressed against mine.