Save Me From Myself

Whats This Feeling

  Things have mostly gone back to normal after the night at Gage's. We all meet for breakfast or dinner. Sloan and Adley have been joining us too. While at that table, surrounded by the people who are so important to me, I actually feel happy.

  Right now it's dinner time, Finn is excitedly explaining to Sloan penguin pairing rituals. Adley is doing everything in her power to get a reaction out of Gage, currently she's poking his cheek repetitively. I can see his brow twitching in annoyance, but he's wearing the faintest of smiles, to the untrained eye it's invisible.

  Taylor has his headphones in and is furiously writing in his notebook.

  "Writing a new song?" I curiously ask while taking a seat across from him.

  He doesn't hear me so I lean forward to try and sneak a glance. He notices this and slams the notebook shut. When I give him a questioning look, he returns a stern one. I throw my hands up in surrender and sit back in my seat.

  Then he removes his headphones and says "Sorry Dani, it's just not finished yet." He smiles sheepishly

  "It's alright I understand. I'm writing something new right now too." I supply while taking a bite of my pizza.

  "Oh yeah. About that are you ready to go and plan out the tempo?" Finn asks.

  "Yeah just let me finish my pizza and then we can head out." I say taking another bite.

  "So you finally decided to let Finn help you with a piece!?" Adley asks excitedly

  "Yeah. I wanted to try something a little different. We've only really played around with ideas so far, but I like the direction it's going."

  "Dan hear is an amazing song writer. Though I've still yet to hear her sing" Finn pops his bottom lip out, pouting.

  "Oh she can sing." Taylor says without looking up from his notebook. Like it just slipped out of his mouth.

  "You've heard her? She won't let anyone hear her. I had to beg on my hands and knees just to let her help with this piece" Finn pouts out

  "Um yeah. He walked in on me playing one night. It was actually the night you asked me to sing the song I'd always hum" I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly

  "What! I've been dying to hear that song. I've heard the chords for it so much. Lucky" Finn whines

  Taylor just shrugs with a 'sorry man' and turns his attention back to his music and book.

  "I'll sing it for you Finn when we go to the music room." I say hoping it will make him feel better.

  "We wanna hear it too!!" Sloan protests while grabbing onto Adley and gesturing to Gage.

  They both nod in agreement. I shrug. "Why not. But after it's over you have to leave. The new song is a secret. Deal?"

  They look between each other thinking it over "Deal" Gage makes the overall decision.

  With that we clean up our trays and all head for the music room. Once stepping out of the cafeteria door I hear Finn say "You're not coming man?"

  Looking over I see Taylor shaking his head "Nah I've got somewhere to be. Sorry." Then he shrugs, waves goodbye and leaves walking towards Emerson Hall.

  He's probably going to see a girl. With that thought my heart pangs. Why did the idea of Taylor going to see someone make my heart do that? He's free to do what he wants. But I still can't help wishing he were coming along.

  After Taylor walks off, Finn returns to our group. Adley slings her arms around my shoulder turning me away from Taylors retreating form. She smiles "come on girl, I'm so excited to hear this"

  I nod and begin to walk with her. Making it to the music room they all take a seat on the couch. Sloan on Finns lap, Adley next to them and Gage on the arm rest. I take my place at the piano keys, looking over at them. They are waiting intently for me to begin, but my nerves are making it difficult.

  Then I remember the night with Taylor. How he turned off all the lights but one, how it calmed me. I get up off the bench and head towards the lights. I turn around to explain and their faces look confused.

  "I have to pretend I'm alone in order to do this." I say before copying Taylors actions.

  Once the rest of the room is dark I return to the keys. I take a deep breath and play my song for them.

  While playing memories of the night with Taylor flow through my mind. The feel of his hands on me, his breath against my neck and become nauseous at the idea that he's doing the same thing to another girl right now.

  I start to choke on the words and tears during the last verse. Once it's over I'm furiously wiping tears from my eyes. Its silent, for a moment I forget I'm not alone. But then I can hear someone else crying and I remember I have an audience.

  The lights flick on and momentarily hurt my eyes. When my vision clears I see Gage by the light switch, Sloan is crying and both Adley and Finns faces are shocked. I bow my head in embarrassment when Finn speaks

  "That was so amazing. Definitely worth the wait."

  "You're so good. I felt every word down to my core." Adley says stunned

  Sloan nods while wiping tears away "Sorry. It was just so beautiful"

  Beautiful, that's what Taylor called it. That's probably what he's calling her, I sneer to myself. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Gage. He actually smiles and gives me a thumbs up.

  "Great job Dani. I can't wait to hear the new one." Then he waves for the others "let's go guys and let them get to work"

  The girls follow him, giving me one last 'thank you' before shutting the door. I turn towards Finn who is now by the recording studio. Getting up I head over to him.

  "Ok show me what you've got so far"

  I hand him the lyrics I've written down on my phone. His eyes skim over them and he nods.

  "That's good so far. Why don't we try and find a tempo that works with it. You said you wanted to try something a little different this time right?" He says while turning to his computer.

  Taking a seat next to him we start to work.