Save Me From Myself

Why Not Me

Cole left the day after movie night 2.0, we all took him to the airport. I told him to keep my location quiet and take care of grandpa. Cole thanked Taylor and everyone for being so great to me.

I started to attend classes again last week. The packets helped to keep me up on what they were covering. Being back at the college was nice, it helped me realize just how much the tiny room in the hospital was suffocating.

Everyone went about their lives like normal, I would meet Finn during breaks to put the finishing touches on our song. It was almost complete. Almost time to present it to everyone.

"How are you feeling?" Finn asks me as we sit in front of the recording booth.

"Do you mean about the song or in general?"

"I guess both. But mainly you."

"I'm good. Honestly better than I have been in a very long time." I smile openly and honest.

He returns it "that's really good to hear."

"It's all because of you guys. You know that right?" He nods and brings me into a hug.

"Now how are you feeling about the song? You ready to preform it?"

"Preform it? I thought I was just gonna sing it to everyone in here like last time." I looked at him confused.

He sheepishly smiles and then looks away from my gaze. "Well you could or you could preform it at the upcoming music festival."

Music festival? Sing it in front of a ton of people? Oh my god no. I couldn't do that.

"No way. Absolutely not! Everyone will be watching me."

"That's the point. But no one will understand it's meaning but us. You're an amazing singer and I think you should go for it."

I did say I wanted to step out of my comfort zone. I never had stage fright before developing the anxiety, so why not. I'd sang in front of crowds before. Mulling it over in my head I agreed.

"Alright deal. But that means I have to practice more. Preforming at a festival on a stage is different than doing in this tiny room." Finn nodded his head in agreement. "Which means later sessions. You alright with that?"

He nodded again and smiled wide. "Of course!"

With one finally decisive nod from me we went back to work. We had 2 weeks until the festival and lots of work.

***

It's been a week since I decided to preform at the festival. After our late night sessions, I would return back to the dorm, and every night I would find the room empty.

Taylor was still coming back at odd hours of the night, but during the day he was always by my side. I was confused on how he could go from seeing girls every night to acting like we were together.

We weren't, so he had the right to be there at night but it still hurts everytime the door would open and he'd quietly shuffle in at 2a, thinking I was asleep. I never was and after he fell asleep I would cry a little before finally falling back asleep.

I decided to approach the girls with what I should do. But that would mean admitting to someone else my feelings for him.

Making my way to Sloan and Adleys dorm I was going over what I'd say in my head. The door was unlocked when I got there so I walked right in. "Girls I have a massive problem-" I turned around after closing the door and my words died.

Sloan and Adley weren't in the room. Instead I found Sloan currently sitting on Finns lap. Both of them staring wide eyed at me, both looking totally kissed out. Sloan smacked Finns arm tsking "I thought you said you locked the door"

She climbed off his now much more sheepish body. I cleared my throat "um I can come back later.." I said pointing over my shoulder and stepping backwards.

"No. You said you had a problem, so stay." Sloan said waving me over.

"Um it's alright it was kind of a girl problem soo..." I eyed Finn warily. Sloan noticed and pushed his shoulder, signaling for him to get up.

"Alright you gotta go. This is girl talk." He pouted and she shook her head

"But I can do girl talk!" He whined.

"Nope go on now."

Finn shot me a sad pout over his shoulder before leaving the dorm. I walked over and sat next to Sloan. "Do you want to talk to just me or me and Adley?"

"Both if that would be ok. I think the more opinions the better."

She nodded her head and then sent Adley a text saying it was a 911 "what is it about if you don't mind me asking?"

"It's um, it's about Taylor." Her eyes widened and then she sent Adley another text. 'Scratch that it's a code blue! Code blue! '

"Why code blue?" I asked reading the text.

"Because Rylands eyes are blue." She shrugged.

Three minutes later a very flustered Adley burst through the door. "I'm here! I'm here! What is the sitch!"

She came over and sat on the other side of me. "So I've realized I have feelings for Taylor." That received no reaction. They just looked at me.

"Carry on."

"What no reaction? You're not even a little surprised?"

"Nope. We can all see it. Only you didn't. Granted it was because you had so many things going on in that head of yours." Adley said putting her hand on my shoulder.

"But you wouldn't have came over here in such a hurry if that's all that's going on. So what's wrong?" Sloan nudged me.

"He's still coming back really late at night. I know he's probably out with a girl but I'm confused and hurt at how he can do that every night and then act like he does towards me during the day."

"Oh I see the problem here." Sloan sighs

"Well are you sure he's with girls? Maybe he's doing something else." Adley shrugged

"Every night? Till 2a since the first day I met him? Doubt it."

"Yeah that is a little sus. You should just ask him." Sloan suggests.

"No that's a terrible idea. He might become defensive, then your never get answers." Adley points out.

"Want me to call Finn? He may know."

I mulled it over in my head. It'd be one more person who'd know but Sloan already said they all knew anyway. I nodded my head giving her the go ahead.

She dialled his number, putting it on speaker. He picked up on the 2nd ring. "Hey babe. What's up?"

"Where are you right now?"

" Um I'm with the boys in the cafeteria. Why?" His voice confused

"You need to get your cute little butt over here immediately. It's an emergency. And don't bring the boys."

"Right. Got it. How bad we talking?"

"Code Blue"

"Oh.. Ohhh."

Then the line went dead. "He'll be here in a second. Then we'll ask him what he knows."