A Second Chance | Fadie

Chapter 8

Listening Too Silence

⚠️TW⚠️

Sadie's POV;

It's currently 2:47am. Caleb was here. Yesterday. I hate him so much. But I can't find it in myself to even show him the slightest bit. I want Finn to be here. Maybe not even to like say or do anything, but just too. Be here. To be in his presence. I skipped lunch and dinner. I shouldn't have, it's a bad habit of mine when things go wrong, I skip meals but it's truly he only way I've learn to cope.

I toss and turn, the cold breath from my window softly caressing my skin as I stare out at the streetlight.

"How is he? What's he doing right now?" Questions loop through my mind on how he's going. Again, not Caleb.

I roll over and flip my phone of too see what notifications I have. It's usually the same old texts of Lilia being overall abrupt on my disappearance, yet only seems like Noah and Maddie care about how I'm actually doing. It's bitchy not replying but I don't want to lie and say, 'yes I'm perfectly fine' just to make them less worried because I know I'm far from being 'fine.'

I scroll down and look at the different tabs of each social media app on my lock screen. Nothing really seemed to catch my eye. Except for...

"F- Finn?" I choke out as I recognise his number on my lock screen.

I tap on the tab as it lets me into my phone and onto my messages.

Hey Sades, I know you haven't been in contact lately which is fine I respect you but I'm worried. No one has heard anything from you in days. Please when you get this can you please respond back or at least let me know you are safe and okay?

Finn.

A single tear drops out of my eye as I read the message, he sent to me, now 2 days ago. I hadn't even seen the notification for it. Mind you, I haven't been on my phone basically since I got home from the hospital about 4 days ago.

I go to type just a simple, 'hey Finn, sorry about being in touch been super busy lately. Hope you're doing well!" type of message but, at this point, I think we both would know that's bullshit. My hands shake as I try to find the right words to say. To lie to him. It's bad but he was just in hospital and God knows if he's still in there or been sent home. I don't need him to focus on me too. I write and delete words for the next 15 minutes, trying to find the best, most persuading words I can use. Hopeless.

I aggressively slam my phone onto my nightstand, agitated by not being able to type a simple message to a boy who I barley even speak too. I slump back onto my hand, looking at my roof. Sobbing. Loud sobs escaping my mouth. I cover my mouth after realising that I wouldn't want my mum, or my whole fucking neighbourhood to hear. It pains me, trying to keep it all in as much as I can. Tiny sobs still manage to escape the gaps of my fingers, but I manage to stop the sobs.

After about, 10 minutes. I lay on my back still staring at my roof. All emotions possible felt like they were sucked out of me and I was left. Numb.

I really can't do this anymore. I can't everything is too much. Caleb, Finn, Lilia. The hospital. Everything. It's all too much. I take a breath in and climb out of my bed, steering my way around the shit that Caleb covered my floor in. I make it to my bathroom, switching on the light and making eye contact with my reflection in the mirror. My face, red and swollen.

I can't. I just. Can't.

I make my way over to the bathroom sink.

"This is it." I whisper, for only me too hear.

I open my cupboard door, finding the first shaver I could find. I take it out, smashing it against the corner of the sink. I cry as I hit it harder and harder, trying to break the plastic around the blade that my life depends on.

"Break! Fucking break!" I angrily scream though sobs.

"Please. Please just break." My breath running short I back up and slide down the wall, giving up on the razor and letting it drop onto my tiles with all tiny pieces of plastic scattered around it.

"I just need Finn." I whimper as I lay my body down on the cold floor.

"Please." I cry out before letting my tired eyes shut.

Authors note: hiiii! I'm finally back with a much longer chapter after such a long ass time. Hope you guys enjoy going to be updating a lot more frequently! ♡♡♡♡♡

KJ xoxo