He opened the door and stepped through it, softly closing the door behind him before quickly walking down the hall and away from me, leaving me and his daughter behind as he chased a love that he had only known for a couple of months but was willing...
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Chapter 16 - Fanaa
Destruction of the self, destroyed in love
Not knowing how to react or what to do, I stood rooted to the spot with the door wide open, allowing Taehyung to see Namjoon stood there. I didn't see his reaction as I wasn't facing him but the sniffle I heard from behind me was a big enough clue to tell me that Taehyung was yet again crying. Never did I think that I would've been in the middle of something as confusing and complicated as this.
"T-Taehyungie? What are you doing here?" Namjoon questioned in surprise, eyes wide and mouth slightly hanging open in shock as he stared at the younger man who had tears welling up in his already-puffy eyes. The hand that held the brightly coloured flowers slowly dropped to rest beside his body, almost as if he was in defeat, no fight left in him at all. Feeling awkward and out of place, I opened the door wider and stepped to the side so that Namjoon could enter instead of standing out in the hallway.
"I should be the one asking that, don't you think Joonie? Why the hell is your ex's place the first time I see you in nearly three fucking weeks? Where have you been? Do you not care for me at all? Am I that insignificant to you Namjoon? Fucking say something you coward!" Taehyung sobbed, face bright red in anger with tears still dripping down his cheeks in fast-flowing rivers. By that point I'd managed to get over my shock and take Dawon from Taehyung and put her to bed as she had been falling asleep. Even though she probably wouldn't understand what was going on, I didn't want her to witness any arguments.
"I-I don't know what to say Tae." Was all that Namjoon said to Taehyung, head hung so that his hair covered his eyes. In that moment my heart broke for Taehyung who cold do nothing but stand there and cry, utterly defeated as the man he loved didn't even try to explain or offer any type of comfort whilst he was in such a state of devastation. Again, I found myself comparing Taehyung to the past me when I was begging for Namjoon to see me and just give me any sort of excuse to pardon me from the pain he had been putting me through.
"Not even a sorry? I mean so little to you that you can't even apologise for literally abandoning me to go out and do who knows what? Wow, and you've even been trying to make a move on Minerva the minute we hit a rough patch! Why did you leave her for me if you weren't planning on sticking to that decision?" Taehyung exclaimed loudly, walking over to Namjoon and placing his hands on his cheeks in order to lift his head up so that he had no choice but to look at him. "Don't you see the pain you're causing me?"
"Y-You told him about that Minnie? Why the hell would you do that? I bet you're loving this, watching me and Taehyung falling apart before you're very eyes! This was your plan all along." Namjoon accused, looking at me as if I had gone behind his back and betrayed him which certainly wasn't the case. Funnily enough, Namjoon seemed to ignore the questions asked by Taehyung, who had moved away from Namjoon in disbelief of his cruel words and his attempt to instantly try and focus the attention on me. This was who Namjoon really was, a two-faced man who tried to have the best of both worlds which was impossible to successfully maintain. On one hand, Namjoon loved Taehyung and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him and then there was me and Dawon, the perfect little family that Namjon had always dreamed of.
"Loving this? Why the hell would I enjoy watching my ex hurt such a lovely, genuine person. And how could this have been my plan when I had absolutely no clue that you would turn up out of the blue? I told Taehyung about what you said because he deserves to know and I would want him to tell me if the roles were reversed." I replied calmly, not letting Namjoon get to me as that as what he wanted. Namjoon wanted to paint me as a crazy, obsessive ex to Taehyung so that the boy wouldn't believe a word I said.
"But he wouldn't and didn't do the same for you, did he? You're still angry about the affair so you're trying to come between us, right? Tae, baby, you know I love you. I just haven't been in the right mindset recently so I went away to get my shit together. I-I said those things about regretting choosing you because I was angry and spiteful after the fight we had that night. I-I'm sorry." Namjoon began scornfully, ending his words with a softer tone as he spoke to Taehyung who whimpered softly. I could see Taehyung's resolve weakening and there was nothing I could do as Namjoon was right, Taehyung loved Namjoon and was just as guilty as him in regards to their betrayal. I don't really understand why I had thought of Taehyung as any better than Namjoon as they were just as bad as each other.
"You both need to leave my apartment." I said sternly, causing them both to look at me as my jaw clenched and palms began to sweat from how tightly my hands were forming fists. A look of realisation slowly spread across Namjoon's face as the weight of his words came crashing down on to him, the tension in the room almost doubling in that very moment. Taehyung's hand came to rest on my shoulder but I shrugged him off, keeping my facial expression as cold as I could.
"I-I'm sorry Minerva that came out wrong." Namjoon attempted to explain but I cut him off by shaking my head, pointing to the door as I didn't trust my voice not to break from the emotions that were crushing my lungs and making it harder to breath. Sighing as he went, Taehyung walked closer to Namjoon and stood before him, looking deep into his eyes as if searching for any genuine truth that he could extract from within his dark irises. The eyes are the key to the soul after all. Taehyung softly shook his head in defeat.
"How will I be able to trust you after this?" The boy asked in a broken tone, seeming to have fully given up after his anger dissolved into grief. A pure look of regret washed over Namjoon's face and his hands raised to cup his boyfriends face in his palms, thumbs wiping away the tears that were still streaming down his face. Slowly, he moved his head so that their foreheads were touching and closed his eyes, eyes squeezed shut as if he were in pain though I knew that he was trying not to cry.
"I don't know baby. Just, please don't give up on me yet because I promise that this will never happen again." Namjoon whispered, a single tear breaking through the barrier Namjoon had created and spilling down his cheek. Though I didn't want to ruin their moment, I cleared my throat sternly, causing them to pull apart and quickly leave without saying a word, not a single apology which was what I was most bothered about. The words 'sorry' just don't cut it anymore, all meaning that used to be behind it having been lost as time passed.
And there I was again, my past having been dug up and laid before me in a way that made it impossible for me to ignore it. That was a time when I really needed someone to tell me what do, like go to bed or sit down, but I was all alone, still stood where I had been ever since Namjoon and Taehyung left, reliving the argument over and over again before I finally decided to stop the torture and drag myself to bed.
