He opened the door and stepped through it, softly closing the door behind him before quickly walking down the hall and away from me, leaving me and his daughter behind as he chased a love that he had only known for a couple of months but was willing...
(A.N - Blue exorcist is one of my favourite anime's ówò)
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Chapter 17 - Nemesism
Frustration, anger or aggression directed inward, towards one's self and one's way of living
The two men entered the apartment that they shared, a tense atmosphere surrounding them which was uncomfortable for people that weren't even involved. Namjoon desperately wanted to reach out to Taehyung and hold him close but the younger felt so out of reach, even though he was only stood a couple of yards away. Taehyung, however, couldn't bring himself to look at Namjoon for he knew that he wold burst into tears which wasn't something he wanted to do.
"We have to talk about this Taehyung." Namjoon muttered softly, looking at the man he had given up everything for in hopes that he would understand just how sorry he was and how he was willing to do anything in order to be forgiven. Not wanting to answer just yet, Taehyung bit his lip and took a deep breath through his nose in order to keep calm before taking his coat and scarf off, proceeding to hang them up on the rack before he turned to face Namjoon with no decipherable emotion on his face.
"The things you just said to Minerva...I'm honestly disgusted." Taehyung spat, losing all composure as the words repeated in his mind, a familiar wave of guilt spilling over his entire body and causing him to shiver. His feeling of hurt was far beyond being left behind by Namjoon but more for Minerva, the woman that the two of them seemed to keep hurting without even meaning to. "You just can't seem to help yourself, can you Namjoon? Everything was fine and then you decided that you didn't like the peace we had begun to establish so you dragged up all that shit that happened so fucking long ago! Rubbing our affair in her face like that, what did you gain from it? Did it make you feel better about yourself to see her so broken? And I want to know where you've been for the best part of 3 weeks and don't you even think about lying to me!" Taehyung yelled, face bright red and a vein prominently standing out on his neck.
"No, of course I didn't like seeing her like that, I'm not that sadistic nor am I proud of what we did. Believe it or not Taehyung, I still care about how Minnie feels. even though I don't love her anymore. When I'm panicking I say the first thing that comes to my head and 9 times out of 10 it makes my life harder. This past few weeks I've been with my mom, call her if you don't believe me. I just needed to take some time to breathe." Namjoon explained loudly, almost as if he were trying to convince himself as well as Taehyung. Everything was falling to pieces around Namjoon's feet and he was desperately trying to keep the structure of his life up with his bare hands. Frowning, Taehyung just couldn't bring himself to trust Namjoon's words.
"But I called your mom and she said you weren't there!" Taehyung whispered in confusion, not knowing what to do with himself as he stood there and faced Namjoon. It didn't feel as if Namjoon was the same person that Taehyung had fallen in love with those 18 months ago on his first day working at the record company. It was hard to look at Namjoon to see just how much he had changed from the lovely, caring person he had been when Taehyung first met him and fell for him, now feeling as if he didn't even know the person he was in a relationship with. The man before him was cruel and cold, lashing out whenever he felt threatened and it was something that Taehyung had never seen from Namjoon.
"I told her to say that if anyone called because I knew that I couldn't come back if I wasn't sure of what I wanted. I want you Taehyung, always have and always will. My past with Minnie is that, just the past, but you are my present and my future. God, I want to have a family with you and marry you one day. I fucking love you Taehyung and I have ever since the first time I laid my eyes on you. Why don't you see how precious you are to me?" Namjoon said, walking over to Taehyung and taking his hands to hold in his own, revelling in the feeling of Taehyung's skin against his. Not able to pull away, Taehyung melted into Namjoon's touch and closed his eyes tightly, lips clamped shut as to not release the whimpers that were so desperately trying to claw their way out of his lips.
"You have a very poor way of showing it Joonie." Taehyung whispered in response, no longer having the energy to be angry or hateful towards Namjoon. Namjoon nodded and reached out to brush Taehyung's hair from out of his eyes, expression softening as his big brown eyes blinked up at him, tears lacing them but not falling down his already wet cheeks. One of Namjoon's thumbs swiped across Taehyung's cheek and wiped away a lone tear that had managed to spill from the corner of his right eye.
Hesitantly, Namjoon leaned in and kissed the corner of Taehyung's mouth as if asking permission to kiss him properly. Taehyung was a weak man, a very much in love man that just couldn't bring himself to say no the man he had devoted his entire life to. Seeking the affection he had been starved of, Taehyung softly planted his lips on Namjoon's and kissed him slowly, wanting to milk the kiss for every drop of meaning that it could've possessed. Taehyung needed Namjoon and he would never deny it. That was how the two men stayed for a while, desperately clinging to each other and not wanting to let go in fear that the other would suddenly leave. Their problems weren't resolved, far from it actually, but in that moment they were happy with just being in each other's presence.
That was all they had ever needed, right from the very beginning.
