The Battle For Porcelain (VERY SLOW UPDATES!)

Chapter 17-She's gone

.oO Spencer's POV Oo.

I still can't believe it. She's gone. She just left. Danielle is... dead. Some days I wake up and think that it was just a dream. But then I have to wake up with the disappointment of realizing it's not just a dream. Sometimes I have nightmares. About her of course. It's always the same. I see her in her car driving on the wet roads, skidding across the pavement as she tries her best to stop the accident. But can't. Instead she goes sliding right in to the semi. And I can't do anything about it.

I don't know who's worse, me or Matt. At least I have Josh. Matt just lost that somebody. I've tried my best to talk to Matt, except he keeps pushing me away. He can't keep it all bottled up. I feel unbelievably bad for him.

***

Danielle said her will and letters were in the bottom drawer of her desk. Josh is driving me over there now.

"Are you sure you're okay Spencer?" Josh asked.

"I'm fine, Josh. It's just that. You know. I just need some time. I promised Danielle that I'd go get these from her house." I said. My nose is red, my cheeks are stained with tears, and my eyes are puffy all the time. I carry tissues with me all the time.

"Okay. We're here." Josh said as he put his truck into park. I sighed. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Yea. I need someone right now." him and I got out of his truck. I grabbed the key I have to her house. I took a deep breath. I unlocked the door, and Josh and I walked in.

I couldn't help but cry. I have so many good memories with her. And in this house. I fell to the ground. I let my hair fall over my face, I could barely keep myself up. I was so weak. Josh sat down next to me. He held me as I cried. I cried hard. I needed it. I needed him.

I needed Danielle.

Him and I just sat there for awhile. He knew I needed it. I didn't look at him once, but I knew he cried a bit too. I think he just cried because he saw me crying.

I turned to him. I tried my best to force a smile out at Josh. He did the same. I kissed him. I stood up, as did he. I walked up the stairs into her room. Josh followed me.

Her room was tidy. It always was. Her bed was unmade though. Only a few articles of clothing on the ground. My eyes squeezed out a few more tears. I walked towards her desk. I reached to the bottom drawer where Danielle said they'd be.

I saw a folded piece of paper first. Her will. One envelope that said mom, dad, Kian (her brother), Ian, Mike, Josh, Matt, and Spencer.

I knew Matt would need this letter. He needs to grieve. He just doesn't want to admit it.

I grabbed all the letters, and her will. Josh and I walked back down stairs.

"I need some water. Be right back." I walked to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and had some water from the tap.

I leaned against the counter and starred around her kitchen. Remembering more things. I noticed a note on the counter.

Good morning Matty!
Did you have a good sleep? I had a blast last night. I hope you did to.
Anyways, I had to go to work. I love you! Maybe see you later? ;)
Love Dani

This was the cutest thing I've ever read. It made my heart ache.

Josh must've heard me crying because he walked in to the kitchen. He walked towards me.

I handed him the note. He read it, set it down, and hugged me again.

"I know it's tough Spencer. She was your best friend. And I know that all you want to do is to talk to her about it. You just want her here. Just remember that I'm here when you want to talk. I'm here, Ian's here, Mikes here. We're all here for you. And you and Matt are there for each other. Don't keep it all bottled up. And what ever you do. Don't hurt yourself, Spencer. I love you way to much. If you need to hurt something. Hurt me. You can punch me if you really need it. I'll be okay. All I want you to know is that everything will be okay. It gets better. And that I'm always here. I know exactly how you feel. I love you so much, Spencer."