Slytherins Heir [Draco X Reader] - Year Five

Chapter eight - Torturous Dreams

Y/n pov

You had cried yourself to sleep and the dreams to come were hardly ones you'd want to remember, some call them dreams, some call them nightmares, but there was something else, they were also memories.

Dark flashes of green you shutter and yell, you feel pain, you cry and shout out in pain hoping for it to end. You see Wormtail come towards you with a knife.

"Please don't do this." You begged him, he stabbed your arm making you try to pull away but to no avail.

"Get away from him!" You shouted pulling the ropes the more he came close to Harry.

You watched as the whole night was relived you felt pain unlike any other.

"Is that all you've got!?" you challenged, feeling tears run down your face.

"CRUCIO!" his words rung out and you screamed loudly, your mind flashed again and you were in the woods bleeding out and Remus stood above you, his claws slick with blood and your breath became weak.

"I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid." You muttered looking at Remus as he was blood thirsty. You felt a sharp pain in your neck and then it all went black.

You looked around and saw Cedric very much alive. You ran up and hugged him, he looked down at you.

"You killed me." He said his voice echoing.

"No... I didn't...." You shook your head holding yourself.

"If you had taken the cup I would've lived." He stated you felt more tears run down your face at his words.

"You're not my Cedric." You said sternly walking away, before you knew it you watched him die, what was happening?!

"You're no better." You said without control, you watched Voldemorts eyes shift on you dangerously, you shook you head, why couldn't you just shut up you, whimpered holding this back you screams. You relive the worst pain in your life and cried out into the darkness, why couldn't you just die?

You opened your eyes to Sirius and Remus shaking you awake. You jump back and fall off your bed, they come closer and you hold your side carefully looking at Remus fearfully.

"No.... please make it stop." You begged crawling backwards away from them, you couldn't help but see a werewolf about to kill you when Remus put his hand out to help you, you put your hand up you see his confusion and pain then he gets thrown back into the hallway and you look at your hands in fear.

"What did I just do....?" You asked, 'You are a monster' a voice in your head reminded you. You teared up and ran out of the room you saw other order members help Remus up and you just kept running. You heard loud noises but just kept running, you pulled open the front door and ran out you kept running, you felt something hit your feet and you were unable to keep running, you looked up from where you had fallen only to see Sirius and Remus coming towards you. You started crawling backwards out of fear.

"Y/n stop." Remus said making you stop and see he was now kneeling in front of you. Your back hit a tree; you began to feel your breathing get heavy.

"Y/n, I-" Remus started but you didn't let him finish,

"Why couldn't you have just let them kill me Remus?" You asked new tears sliding down your face.

"I could never forgive myself if I let you die." He stated but you just felt worse, why couldn't you just die?

"I hurt Sirius, then I hurt you, who knows who'll I hurt next, I shouldn't be allowed to live Remus." You told him scared out of your mind, but not of him, of you.

"That's bull and you know it." Sirius hissed. He seemed to have a strong opinion more but you weren't up for debates.

"I. am. Dangerous." You paused. "A monster." You said clenching your fists. You couldn't look Remus in the eyes.

"Enough of that, we need to get you inside." Remus said lightly, reaching his hand out to you, you cower backwards further to the tree.

"Hand me over to Voldemort or the Ministry. Please." You asked looking between the two, this was clearly a new request.

"No. You were having a nightmare and reacted." Remus understood completely.

"It wasn't just a nightmare, I felt it all over again, all the curses, everything, I couldn't stop it again, but I can feel it all." You cried holding yourself close.

"Come inside, you can explain it all there." Sirius said lightly.

"Just let me go home, please just take me home." You cried shaking and pulling your knees to your chest.

"Y/n, please." Remus said being soft and careful around you.

"All of you get inside now." Moody hissed from the doorway.

You Looked around it was barley before the sun was up, you saw no one was around the street, you shakily stood, you looked at the sky, you knew how to get them there, you knew if you staid much longer the ministry would find you, and that means finding Sirius too, you couldn't do that to him.

You silently walked inside your head down, you slowly walked up the stairs holding your body close, Molly reached out her hand but you could see out of the corner of your eye Remus gently pushed her hand down. You  approached your room and saw a dent in the wall where you had thrown Lupin, your fingers grazed the wall and you felt hate for your powers. You entered your room and slide your back down against the door crying and holding yourself wondering if you were just as bad as you thought. What if you were really like Voldemort? Or like your sister? Your mom had to come back to you, she had to... Maybe you were just like Lord Voldemort and you'd be dark like him? What if he was right and you'd be on his side? Would you take his hand when he offers it?