The Untelling of Love & Happiness

Reality Checks Cash Differently; cont'd 4

Chp. 4: I Miss Him

"Since you've been gone/ Every minute, every second/ It's making me strong..."
-Manizha

New day. Ugh! Last night was horrible. I said I didn't care and I pretended not to care. Yet, I spent the night crying myself sick. I sat, hovered over the toilet, throwing up the barely there contents of my stomach. I managed to accidentally wake up Corey in the process. He came to check on me and offered a helping hand or shoulder to lean on but I declined. I didn't want or need to be babied. I needed to be a big girl-a young adult-and rid myself of this toxicity once and for all. Now was the time to find myself again. I had already successfully begun to rediscover who I was without Trevor, and now it was finally time to do the same with Josiah.

I woke up feeling drained. I didn't want to go to school today. And surprisingly, after looking me over and taking my unofficial temperature, using the back of her hand, Meme allowed me to play hooky. Ugh! It's only day two of the year and I'm already missing days. Fail. Kandace girl, you're not doing this again so you'd better snap out of it. Make a vow now, there isn't going to be anymore missing days of school.

In the kitchen, Meme was just finishing up breakfast. Most often, she starts her days spoiling us grandkids. All of us-the NY grands-migrate to her house before separating towards our respective schools and colleges.

"I made you a plate, Diva."

"Thanks but I'm not hungry." I informed, taking a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Still? You need to eat, Kandace. Starving yourself is not going to change anything." She fussed. "I think you should call your friend. Talk to him. Communication is key to understanding."

"We did communicate and we decided that this was what's best."

"Lord, you're so stubborn... Like that rebel of mine." She pouted. She was referencing my mother's bullheadedness. "...You couldn't have decided on this... because you're moping. You're going along with what he wants. It's obvious, Diva."

I softly smacked my lips.

"You're not eating, sleeping... happy. This is classic Heartbreak 101." Meme continued. "It's time to call Josiah and figure out what can be done to fix the relationship."

"Meme, thanks for the pep talk but I'm good." I sighed. I was desperately trying not to be disrespectful. "I just need time to heal. We're not getting back together. He's mad at me and I'm mad at him."

The door bell rang.

"I'll get it." I forcefully smiled.

My cousins. Yay! Ryann entered the house while all hugged up with Chad. Ugh! They make me so sick. A secret... They are what I've always imagined me and Trevor to be if we ever decided to do a serious girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. They are best friends that fell in love and now they are lovers who bloom and blossom. The smell of love lingers on them like a florist on Valentine's Day. Next, Rayna and Kyler made their way inside, headed for the kitchen. Karnise was last, cup-caking on the phone which only God knows who.