The Untelling of Love & Happiness

The Universe 101; cont'd 2

Chp. 2: Emotions Unlocked

"The day when I cut all my loose ends/ I vow, oh, to fall the heart..."
-Mike WiLL Made-It

Starin' up at this ceilin' fan shit was startin' to feel like second nature. Too often, a nigga findin' myself watchin' the blades spin and tryna pin point the exact moment everything flipped. I feel like my transition between middle and high school might be where all this bullshit began. I don't know, though. I just feel like that's when I became this random flame of self-destruction and feared havin' a fake, tag-along little sister that I would also destroy. I think that's when I started groomin' Bit to be her own independent person. Except all that shit backfired last year. My private mission was sidetrack by my bullshit ways and fucked up thinkin'. Now, more than anything in the world, all I want is my best friend back... and now, for whatever reason, she's finally that independent person I'd trained her to be. Wow! Whoa! Fuck! I guess I just wish I could rewind and fast forward fuckin' time... just so a nigga can actually see how we end up... like is all this shit even worth anything... because, too, I'm still refusin' to believe this is our end. It's not! I'm not ready for this to be it for us.

I thought about beatin' my dick to put myself to sleep but it ain't no lock on the guest room door and my little cousin, Hope, her ass be up walkin' the house at night. That shit creepy as fuck but my aunt and uncle don't think her sleepwalkin' is a big deal so it's whatever.

The urge to refocus my eyes caused me to turn onto my side. I looked at the blank screen of my TV and slid my right hand into my shorts. Tonight wasn't the night for that, though. The way I'm feelin', it would probably be a waste of goddamn time even tryna bust a nut. Nia makes sure my nutsack stays empty. If I even pretend like I'm horny, here her ass comes magically appearin' out of thin air to fuck somethin'. T2, that's my dick, he loves her ass, too. Bruh! Yesenia Ortega. I swear to Moses, this girl is the baddest bitch at my high school. She's a Mexican with the body of a Dominican chick. That's a dangerous concoction. The first day of school, she claimed livestock on my ass; sucked my dick in the boys locker room and then told me that I'm her man and I better not try to play her. Ultimately, my plan while in Houston is to lay low so I'm layin' low. I just been doing whatever she say for now. I don't want no drama. She fuck around and have her brothers and cousins and uncles and shit chop my ass into pieces and spread my parts throughout the city, then what? When you dealin' with Mexicans, you just never know. Naw, I'm gucci! And that's a gangsta moment for yo' ass. I just been like, fuck it, let me play this lil' boyfriend role and be cool.

Nigga!

Anyway, my phone buzzed right as my hand made it to my dick. The lit screen sorta hurt my eyes, too. There was a text from Lil Bit askin' if I was up. Once it was clear that my mind wasn't playin' tricks on me, I grabbed the phone, about to text a reply. However, a series of buzzes let me know that Bit was now callin'. I couldn't answer fast enough.

"Nigga! What the fuck, dude?" I laughed into the phone.

"Oookaay." Lil Bit hesitantly sang, indifferent about my greetin'.

"Man, bro! I fuckin' miss you so much, Bit! It's ridiculous! What you doin' up?" I asked, grinnin' my ass off. I, then, quickly looked at the time. "It's what, 3:27am there? We a hour different in time, right?"