The Untelling of Love & Happiness

The Universe 101; cont'd 4

Chp. 4: Trouble

"Bitches all in my sight/ I said, real niggas tryna fuck/ Fuck niggas wanna fight/ I said, gunshots into the air/ But I ain't scared for my life..."
- J. Cole

Aight, so look! I'm so over this Houston shit! I wanna go the fuck home! Time just tickin' by and everyday I try thinkin' of a different way to cope. Lately, I've been begging my mama to just let me come back. Quevon and them ain't even givin' me peace anymore. I need help, bro! Everything be gettin' to me. Like, I swear to Moses, I'ma be beatin' the hell outta my kids for every little thing they do. This might sound fucked up, but thank God that Zhkia and Iris didn't carry them fuckin' babies to term. I couldn't even do it. I used to say I'll never do my kids like my dad did me but my cousins got a nigga on some 'cool with being a deadbeat' shit! My right hand to Moses, I'm so sincere.

I jumped out my sleep 'cause I smelled something burnin'! When I got to the kitchen, the fuckin' toaster was on fire and smoke was everywhere. Finally, the smoke detector sounded its alarm.

"What the fuck y'all motha fuckas doin'?" I snapped, scarin' the shit outta Hope.

Matthew quickly backed away from the counter like that was gon' stop me from seein' them about to burn us all alive, "I was trying to make Hope a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!" He said sadly.

I yanked the plug from the wall and grabbed a towel, tryna smother the flame, "Why the fuck you need a toaster for peanut butter and jelly?"

"I like my bread hard." Hope informed, glassy-glossy eyed.

"Do y'all know how fuckin' stupid it would look if y'all lil' niggas successfully burned this bitch down while I'm here with y'all?" I barked, coughin' and fannin' the smoke.

Hope and Matthew just stared up at me.

"Why one of y'all ain't come ask me to fix you somethin' to eat?"

"Because you were sleeping. I did try to wake you but you said to get out of your room." Hope sniffled.

I released a deep sigh, now fannin' the smoke detector. Eventually, the alarm stopped ringin'.

"I'm sorry." Matthew apologized.

I sighed again. His expression made me feel indifferent. I love this lil' nigga but... Fuck! They both annoyin', bro! I can tell that Matthew looks up to me. He wants to be like me and right now, I ain't so sure that that's a good thing.

"It's aight." I bargained. "...Y'all mama gon' kill our asses!"

Hope giggled and Matthew smiled. Uncle Johnnie walked into the house at that moment. The three of us looked at each other then all took off runnin' into different directions.

"Hey daddy!" Hope said faintly.

Oh my God! Why the hell would she run to her dad? Now I gotta hear his mouth. Damn!

I picked up my phone. I had several missed texts and social media notifications. Quevon had hit my line five times so I felt the need to return her call.